Page 94 of The Christmas Holiday
I shook my head. ‘I can’t, Liv.’
She steered us over to the lifts. ‘Can’t what?’
‘Whatever it is. I don’t know. You said yourself Hunter isn’t interested in anythingother than a few nights in a warm bed with someone these days. But I’m not made the same way. However much I kind of wish I was right now.’
‘So you do still have feelings for him?’
I ran my hands over my face. ‘Yes. No. I don’t know. I mean, yes there are feelings but are they just reminders of the ones I used to have? Or is it even more basic than that?’
‘Ilana did say he was thebest sex she’d ever had.’ Liv looked back at me. ‘Oh my God, I shouldn’t have said that. Honestly, I didn’t mean…’
I hugged her arm, pulling her closer. ‘It’s fine, Liv. Don’t worry about it. I’m well aware Hunter isn’t exactly a monk these days.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’
I leant back on the wall of the lift as we got in. ‘Finish this job and go back to my life. Like it wasbefore.’
‘Is that what you want?’
‘That’s what I need. What he needs. We tried once before and losing it all was… really not good.’
‘I’m thinking that’s an understatement.’ She squeezed my hand.
I smiled across at her sadly. ‘Yeah. Just a little.’
‘But you do miss him, don’t you?’
I shook my head. ‘I didn’t think I did. I thought it was all done. Finished with. In a tidylittle box in my mind.’
‘And now?’ We exited the lift and wandered over to the little love seat positioned beneath one of the windows. The panes were catching the snow in the corners, making it look like something from a Christmas card.
‘Now? Now I know I never should have spent any more time with him than I absolutely needed to. My friend at the paper, Lorelei, told me this trip wouldbe good for me. Everything ended so suddenly between us that we never got that god-awful word, closure. She and I both thought this would be the opportunity to get that.’
‘But instead it’s done quite the opposite?’
My look told her the answer.
‘Mia?’ Hunter’s voice caught us by surprise.
I looked up at him and knew in that instant it had indeed done quite the contrary. Spendingtime with Hunter had reminded me of everything I missed about him. Even though he’d driven me nuts on purpose, tried to get me bumped off the job, I knew why he’d done it. It was self-preservation. And right then I knew my own sense of that over the years had protected me from everything except the one thing I never thought I’d need protecting from. Falling for Hunter Scott all over again.
‘Are you OK?’ Liv asked. ‘I can stay if you like.’
I hugged her. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered before pulling away. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Is she ill? Are you ill?’ Hunter’s voice held concern and right now I couldn’t deal with it.
‘No. Just tired. I’m going to bed.’ I smiled at them both. ‘See you tomorrow.’
I heard the soft ping of the lift arriving as I walked away down the corridor, headingfor my room. Moments later I heard Hunter’s footsteps behind me. I was close to my door now and needed to make it there before he caught up. I’d put my feelings for him away once before and I could do it again. I just needed the space to do so.
‘Mia?’ His voice caught up and wrapped around me – the soft accent I’d always found so sexy and the deep tones that, in certain moments, sounded likethey were wreathed in smooth, warm chocolate. Oh my God. Thinking about those particular moments right now really wasn’t helping. Where the bloody hell was my room?
‘Hey?’ Hunter caught my arm and slowed me. ‘You OK?’
I nodded.
His fingers gently pushed back the hair that refused to stay in the ponytail. ‘You look kind of pale.’ His hand moved and he laid the back of it against myforehead. I reached up and wrapped my own around it, slowly pushing it away.
