Page 111 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
I didn’t answer and Cal didn’t speak, concentrating instead on lifting my coat from the wooden row of pegs on the wall. He draped it around my shoulders before grabbing his own and slingingit over his arm. Opening the door, Cal gripped it firmly as a flurry of snow blew in on the icy draught. We shoved ourselves through the door and quickly closed it behind us, keeping the heat in the house.
Cal took my hand and we half ran through the now-settling snow to the steps, duly gritted earlier, and raced up them. I grabbed the key from my pocket and quickly plugged it in the lock andturned. The cosy warmth from my little flat enveloped us as we stepped in, shutting out the weather – and the world – leaving just me and Cal. The softly changing lights from the small fibre optic Christmas tree I’d chosen provided a gentle, comforting glow.
‘I … can I get you a drink or something?’ I asked, suddenly feeling a little awkward as Cal took the coat from my shoulders and hung italongside his on the shabby chic hat stand behind the door.
‘I’d really just like to sit and talk before I explode but if you want a drink, you should have one.’
‘I don’t really.’
‘Stop procrastinating then and get that cute butt over here and sit down with me.’
I hesitated. Cal was doing his best to keep things light, as though coaxing a wary animal towards safety, knowing all the time thatit might bolt and shoot straight out into the road.
‘Please, Lexi.’ His voice was low and his expression looked almost haunted. ‘I know what you said, about being friends and all that. But it’s not working for me, and I don’t think it’s working for you either.’
‘I’ll make it work … I have to. It’s for the –’
His head snapped up as his brows drew together. He shot up and immediately gained theheight advantage. I tipped my head back to meet his eyes and almost wished I hadn’t. The pain in those grey eyes shot into my chest with a force that felt almost physical. He was done with the coaxing.
‘If you’re about to say it’s for the best, then save your breath. I know it’s not and so do you. What’s it going to take to get you to realise that? What do I have to do to prove to you that, whateveryou think, all I want is you?’
‘That’s what Marco thought too, at first,’ I cried. The guilt at seeing the pain in his eyes kicked me automatically into defensive mode.
‘I’m not Marco.’
‘Why would you be any different?’ I threw up my hands, turning away. I couldn’t face him right now because he was different. I knew that. I’d never felt like this about anyone and if this was how excruciatinglypainful it was to love someone this much, then I was going to make sure I never did again.
‘Because everyone’s different, Lexi!’ I could hear the hurt and the tension in his voice and wrapped my arms around myself to prevent me from wrapping them around him. ‘And because I bloody well love you more than I know what to do with and I know you love me too. All that put together means that I’m different.That this –’ he waved his arm in the air between us ‘– is different. And if you’d just give us a chance, we can prove it.’
The silence hung between us. A soft swishy noise signalled that the snow was falling harder, settling quicker. I swallowed the lump I felt in my throat and looked towards the window as thoughts swirled through my head, just as the flakes outside tumbled in the air.
‘He’llbe OK. He’s probably nearly there by now.’ Cal picked up on my thoughts about Marco. Marco was a good friend. Better than I ever knew if I was honest – his actions tonight showed me that. All everyone saw was the playboy side, a side he admittedly played up to. But there was so much more to Marco than that. I knew that. And tonight Cal had seen that too.
‘Call him if you’re going to be so worriedthat you can’t concentrate on anything else. It’s OK.’ His voice was calm now. Understanding. He’d told me that he’d seen the media coverage of Marco’s accident. There’d been a photo of me taken a little after the accident when I’d returned to the garage. Its focus was slightly blurred thanks to the length of the lens used, but there was no mistaking the utter distress on my face. I’d been mortifiedat the intrusion. At the world seeing my emotions so raw, so visceral.
Marco was used to being in the public eye, but I wasn’t. I’d never got used to it. I had no wish to be seen at parties and I’d certainly had no wish to be put on display like that. Once Marco knew about it, he’d put his lawyers on the case and had managed to get hold of the photo, but by then it had already been seen aroundthe world. And one of those people who had seen it was Cal Martin.
Whatever Marco said, I knew there was someone better for him, more suited to that lifestyle he favoured. But I still loved him, like family now. I knew I’d never forget that day, and the fear, and with Joe’s recent accident still in mind, I knew I was on edge.
My phone let out a soft ping, signalling the arrival of a text. Iwalked over to the tiny console table near the door where I’d left my mobile earlier this evening. I pressed onto messages and saw an unread one from Marco.
Home. So you can stop worrying now. Talk to him!!! xxx
‘He OK?’
I replaced the phone on the table and hovered there for a moment, my fingers fiddling with the petals of the impossibly real-looking cream silk roses displayed in a cut glassvase.
‘Yes. Thanks.’
‘Good.’
‘He told me – again – to talk to you.’
‘And are you going to take his advice?’
I let my hand drop to my side before I risked destroying the flower display entirely.
‘I’m scared, Cal. And I’m not used to that. I never baulked at going for the biggest jumps on my mountain bike, or following my brothers to the highest branch in the tree. That was just a challengeto me. And I like challenges. But this feels like so much more. And, honestly, I’m not sure if I can do it.’
