Page 112 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
‘Because you might risk your heart?’
I shook my head. ‘No. Because I might risk yours. And your son’s.’
Cal held out his hand, and I looked at it, wanting to take it. I wanted to take his hand and I wanted so much more but –
‘Lexi, stop thinking for a moment and just listen.’
Liftingmy gaze to meet his, I saw the faintest of smiles shadow his lips as he wiggled his fingers towards me. Reaching out, I took his hand and as he pulled me close, his arms wrapping tight around me, one large hand cradling the back of my head.
Immediately, I felt some of the knots begin to loosen. This was where I should be. In my heart, I knew it. But the problem wasn’t my heart. I’d always beensensible and practical and over-ruled the silly whims of my heart. The one time I hadn’t, it had ended in pain on both sides. And this time would be so, so much worse. The question was whether I was willing to take that risk again. To take a chance on Cal Martin. On myself.
Cal gently pulled us both down onto the well-loved sofa and we sunk into its comforting depths. He kept his arms aroundme, and leant his head gently on mine.
‘Lexi, do you really think I haven’t thought this over a million times?’ He breathed a kiss into my hair. ‘I grew up protecting myself from anything and anyone that could hurt me. I swore to myself I’d never let anyone in enough to risk any sort of damage to my feelings, and when George came along, I knew that I’d do everything I possibly could to give hima happy home and would never do anything to risk his happiness, or put confusion into his life.’
Cal sat up a little and turned me, so that I was facing him. ‘The only thing you’d be risking, if you let yourself, is adding more happiness, more joy, and more love to both our lives.’
I met his eyes and saw the honesty in them. He believed every word and I knew that I did too.
‘But what about …’
‘More children?’
My gaze dropped to his chest, and he hooked the side of his finger under my chin, bringing it up. He waited until I met his eyes before speaking.
‘If it happens, I’ll be incredibly happy. But if it doesn’t, I’ll still be incredibly happy because I’ll have you, which is more than I ever thought I’d find. I love you, Lexi, and so does George. I will always love you, whatever happens.And I will be right beside you, always. For the good times and the bad. That’s what love’s about. Whatever happens, we’ll be in it together, and being together is already more than enough. I meant everything I said before. I want you in our lives. That’s the most important thing to me. Anything else is a bonus.’
He brushed back a lock of my hair that had tumbled forward. ‘I love you.’ He gaveme the smile that had caused my stomach to do backflips from the very first time. ‘You have no idea how much! If you give me the chance, I promise to show you every day.’ He took my hand. ‘But I can’t do this alone, Lexi, and I know it’s scary. I’ve never done this before either – given my heart over to someone so utterly and completely and it scares the life out of me, if I’m honest, but it alsofeels like the only thing I should be doing. It feels more right than anything I’ve ever done in my life.’
I leant forward, and kissed him, feeling the hesitation in his body. Pulling back, I met his eyes, wary.
‘Please don’t tell me that was a goodbye kiss,’ he whispered.
I shook my head, the smile spreading on my face. ‘No. It wasn’t. It was a time to be brave kiss.’
‘So, you’re saying yes?’The surprise in his voice tore at my heart. He’d opened himself to me, laid himself bare, knowing, even expecting to be turned down. His honesty, and bravery, breached my emotional dam entirely.
‘I am. I want this. I want you, and whatever does or doesn’t happen. I want it all.’
Cal touched my face gently, his long fingers sliding back and entwining themselves in my hair, his eyes never leavingme.
‘I used to be a daredevil as a child. Nothing fazed me. But somewhere along the way, something happened; I lost some of that bravery. I lost some of that self-belief. Now it’s time to get it back. It’s time be brave about something that really matters …’
I barely had time to take a breath before Cal’s mouth was on mine, his arm wrapping around my waist, as the other cupped the back of myhead, his fingers splaying as his mouth delivered a kiss that stopped me thinking about anything other than how good it felt to be here, being kissed by this man, and feeling his solid, broad body pressing close to mine as his mouth moved and began trailing down my neck …
