Page 43 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
‘Have you told anyone else?’
He waggled his head a little. ‘Vaguely.’
‘Then it’s obviously personal to some extent.’
‘Do you want to hear this or not?’ He laughed.
I returned his smile and felt the last knots unfurl as Cal’s eyes caught the firelight, the laughter in themnot entirely masking his earlier concern. Somewhere inside me I felt a swirling but this time it wasn’t tension, or stress. This time it was a far more intoxicating feeling, and one I knew I should ignore. The last time I’d felt something similar it had been wonderful then awful. And I knew from the way it was filling every part of me that if I let it, this time the pain would be so much worse.But I wanted to enjoy it, enjoy Cal, for just a few minutes while I listened to that deep, smooth voice. Surely just a few minutes wouldn’t hurt?
‘You’re miles away.’
I shook my head. ‘No. Right here.’ And I was, savouring every moment because I knew I was on a slippery slope and I couldn’t afford to lose my grip.
Cal gave me a look. It said “unconvinced” but he began anyway. ‘OK, so I movedfrom the city for George really. I’m a city kid – at least I thought I was – but there’s no doubt that having a garden he can get outside and play in, spaces to run about in, clean air to breathe … it’s all so much better for him. He’s made great friends here and really come out of his shell. And I think the fact that I’m happier has had a really good impact on both of us.’
‘You think you’rehappier?’
He smiled, softly. ‘I know I am.’
‘But you must have wanted to move too, surely?’
‘I guess I thought it would be OK, but I grew up in the city. Really, it’s all I’ve known. Which is kind of why I wanted George to have what he has now.’
‘I get the feeling you don’t think about yourself all that much.’ I raised an eyebrow, daring him to challenge my statement.
Cal smiled. ‘Not somuch. There’s not a lot of time between my son and the business. George is my world and I have to keep the business doing well so that I can make sure he always has everything he needs.’
‘What he needs the most is you.’
He frowned and sat back from me. ‘I spend every moment I can spare with him. I always read him a story at night and –’
I held up my hands. ‘Cal, that wasn’t what I meant! Iknow you’re a brilliant dad. All I meant is that you need to look after yourself too. For yours and George’s sakes.’
Cal studied me for a moment, the furrows in his brow smoothing. ‘Oh. Yes. Sorry. And, of course you’re right.’
‘It’s difficult. I know.’
‘Admittedly, Martha has made things a lot easier. George loves her to bits, and everyone in the village has been really helpful and kind fromthe start. When I took George to nursery the first day, I kind of felt like I was the new boy, and not him. I’m pretty sure I was the more nervous!’ His laugh was deep and smooth and brought to mind dark, melting chocolate.
‘It was mostly mums there but they were really kind and supportive. George had already whizzed off and was busy making friends, and I was just sort of stood there feelinga bit bereft! I must have seemed quite a pathetic specimen. A few of them were heading off for coffee and asked me along.’
I bet they did …
‘At the nursery in London the parents were all in little cliques and sectioned themselves off. I think there was one other dad I kind of nodded hello to, but that was about it. It was a completely different experience here from day one.’
‘But in a goodway?’
‘In a great way. To be honest, it took me a bit by surprise – the kindness, and generosity. The way that people here are happy to help each other out, even an interloper like me!’
I laughed. ‘You’re not an interloper!’
‘No, you’re right. I’ve never felt like that here. I did worry that we might though. You know some little places you go in a shop or pub and they all stop talking and lookat you?’
‘Yeah, we’re not like that.’
‘Definitely not. Thank goodness.’
‘We happy to let any old Tom, Dick, or Harry rock up and be welcome.’
