Page 66 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
I shook my head. Why did he have to followme? I’d had the strength to walk away from the first man who had made me happy in the way I now knew I should feel. And now here he was. Way too close.
‘I have to –’
He wrapped his arms around me and moved, so that he could see my face. ‘Lexi, you’ve never seemed the complicated type.’
I shook my head. I really wasn’t. All that seemed like far too much effort to me. But I did have a past thatI couldn’t help but let affect my future. It was all intertwined and always would be. Did that make me complicated?
‘I’m not. Really. I promise.’
‘I don’t know what’s going on with you but I want to, Lexi,’ Cal whispered, his eyes meeting mine and holding me as firmly as the hands that now rested on my waist. ‘I think we both know I want so much more than that.’
‘I can’t give you everythingyou want.’ My voice was supposed to come out controlled and calm. Instead there was a definite hint of wobble and it finally cracked on the last word.
Cal looked down at me, studying me almost, it seemed. ‘I don’t want to do this with an audience.’ He took my hand and led me out of the pub, giving the landlord a raised hand in acknowledgement as we left. The car park had been gritted but I keptmy head down, concentrating on my steps in the heels that I wore. Cal unlocked the car and let me in before striding round the other side and turning over the engine. As he got in, he began pressing the buttons for the heated seats before reaching for my hands, which were folded on my lap.
‘Lexi. Even as a friend you’ve already given me more than I ever thought I’d find. Or ever allow myselfto find. You’re beautiful, and intelligent and have the best comebacks I’ve ever heard. Plus you share my interests, not to mention having the complete adoration of my son. All that is so much more than I ever thought I’d find, and it’s more than enough. Whatever it is you think you’re lacking, you’re not. I care about you. Very much.’
‘I care about you too.’
‘So … that’s good then. And I definitelydon’t think just giving up is the answer. We have the beginnings of something great here. I know that. And I think you do too.’
I nodded and a sad, heartbroken tear released itself down my cheek. Cal’s hand, warm and gentle, brushed it away.
‘Don’t cry, Lexi. Please. We’ll work it out.’
I carefully wrapped my fingers around his hand and lowered it from my cheek.
‘It’s not something that canbe worked out, Cal. I’m sorry.’
He watched me for a moment, before sitting back in his seat.
‘There are few things that can’t be worked out. If people really want them.’
‘And what if the fact that you really want something is the actual problem?’
He caught my chin with the side of his finger. ‘That’s not a problem, so far as I can see.’
‘But that’s it. You don’t see. But you would in time.’
‘Lexi, I –’
‘I’ll be taking this job next year and I’d hardly see you. I’d hardly see George. How’s that going to go down?’
‘Then we’ll come up to you in holidays and stuff, and spend the evenings together. You’ll get some holidays. We’ll work it out. So far I’m not seeing anything insurmountable. And certainly nothing worth throwing a connection like this away over.’
‘Cal, I couldn’t makea relationship work when the man was right there beside me! How much more difficult is it going to be when I’m thousands of miles away half the time?’
‘It would be different. I’m not Marco Benoit, if that’s who you’re talking about.’
‘It’s not just him. I’m just not good at this stuff.’
‘Maybe because you never give it a chance? You’re running away before I’ve even got to ask you out properlythis time!’
‘I have given it a chance. For God’s sake, I was going to marry Marco! Don’t you think that’s giving something a chance? I don’t want to go through that again! And I’m not prepared to put you or your son through something that’s avoidable.’
‘Like I said, I’m not Marco. And you should let me worry about what is and isn’t good for George.’ His jaw was set. However I’d seen this goingonce I’d realised what I needed to do, it wasn’t this way. I hadn’t expected Cal to try and fight for me.
‘You told Dan you’d like a family.’ I unloaded my biggest weapon.
