Page 9 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
Matt put a mug of tea down on the desk in front of me and I wrapped my hands around it.
‘Ooh thanks, just what I need.’ I took a sip and then realised he was watching me. ‘What?’
‘You. You just make me laugh.’
I took another sip. ‘Do I dare to ask why?’
‘Well, you have this tough, tomboy outer layer –’
‘I do wear dresses sometimes, thank you.’
‘You know what I mean. You give offthis tough-girl attitude, your job is predominantly male –’
‘My former job.’
‘Stop interrupting for two minutes, will you?’
‘Sorry.’ I made a zipping motion across my lips.
‘It just makes me laugh that you make people think things don’t bother you, that you’re tough as old leather – and we both know that’s not true. I just wonder why you always feel you have to do that. I can understand thework thing – why you don’t want to be all girly there. But you’re not as tough as you make out so why let people think that you are?’
‘Because it’s suited me. I’m not pretending to be anything I’m not anyway. I’m just not all feminine and girly like Giselle. She cries and looks beautiful. I cry and look like a red-faced, swollen-eyed, blotchy mess. It doesn’t quite have the same effect.’
‘I’mnot saying you have to cry all the time. God forbid. I’m just saying you’re not as tough as you think you are … and that’s OK.’
‘Is there a point to this conversation?’ I asked, staring into my tea.
‘The family just wants you to be happy.’
I turned on the chair and folded my legs up into a crossed position. ‘The family? You know we’re not The Mob, right? And by happy, do you mean married?’
‘Well, not immediately. And not at all if that’s not what you want.’
‘I did want – once. Remember how well that worked out?’
‘So that means you keep yourself at a distance from everyone for ever?’
‘It’s a lot less hassle.’
‘And a lot more lonely.’
‘With a lot less heartbreak.’
‘And a lot less chance at joy.’
I glared at him because I’d run out of argument.
‘Look. I’m not necessarily rulingit out but there was hardly a lot of opportunity before. Liaisons were frowned upon in the team and there was barely time for anything like that anyway.’
‘Not entirely frowned upon.’ Matt shifted position on the wall as he snagged another biscuit from the tin and frisbeed one to me. ‘You were engaged to Marco.’
‘He was their top driver and winning them the championship, not to mention millionsin sponsorship. The rules didn’t really apply to him so much. And I’d been working for a different team when we got together so they couldn’t say a whole lot.’
Matt shrugged his eyebrows.
‘Anyway. That’s all a bit irrelevant now. Besides, dating is the absolute last thing on my mind right now. Trying to find another job is rather taking priority.’
‘Have you heard anything?’
