Page 108 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
Marco took my hands. ‘You know he loves you, right?’
I blinked and a tear breachedposition, sliding down my face and off my chin, landing on the back of Marco’s tanned hand.
‘And you love him.’ It wasn’t a question but I answered anyway.
‘Yes.’
‘Then you have everything you need. I’ll admit I had hopes for us. I’ve been trying to find the right way to ask you about starting over again for a while. And then I saw those pictures of you on Facebook. I saw the way he was lookingat you. And the way you were looking at him.’ He gave me a sheepish glance. ‘I’m not accustomed to losing … I had to try. But I also know when I’m beaten. I know I could never make you as happy as he does, no matter how hard I tried. It’s clear you do the same for him. Don’t waste that, Lexi.’
‘I’m not!’ I cried, giving up on any semblance of pretence now. ‘I mean, I don’t want to! Do you honestlythink I’ve not lain awake every night trying to think of a way to change the way things are? Do you think I’d let him go if I had any other choice at all? For God’s sake, Marco, I love him! So much that it makes my chest hurt even to think about it, but I have to let him go. For his sake.’
‘Why?’
I swallowed, my throat raw and uncomfortable. ‘You know why,’ I replied, quieter now.
‘You’ve discussedit?’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘And, like the alpha male he is, he thinks that the normal rules don’t apply to him. That he can beat the odds! Like you did, and look how well that worked out!’
He gave me a look, and the fight went out of me.
‘I saw Cal tonight, just before dinner. He was watching my big, noisy, chaotic family and I could see it in his face – how much that means to him, having that. He’salready said that’s exactly what he wants for George. And I know he wants it too. Needs it. He had a horrible childhood and he’s a wonderful father to George, and would be to any child. I can’t be the one to break those dreams. I won’t.’
‘Lexi, you could never break anyone’s dreams. It’s just not in you.’
‘Marco. This is the way it has to be. I take the job with you, put a permanent distancebetween us, and give him the chance to find the person he’s really meant to be with.’
‘Listen to me.’ Marco’s voice took on a tone that I’d only ever heard him use when he was really, really mad. During all the time I’d known him, he’d never once used it on me. Until now. ‘You know as well as me that life can be short. We’ve seen it. One day you think you have your whole life ahead of you andthen, that’s it. I missed having that moment by inches and you were witness to that.’
‘Don’t, Marco. Please! I hate thinking of that day.’ I tried to turn away but he stopped me.
‘You should think about it. You should think about it every day. I know I do. It’s what keeps me going. It’s what keeps me feeling alive and going after what I want, even if I know there’s a good chance of me failing.It’s what made me kiss you because, even though I pretty much knew you were going to reject me, I had to try. Don’t waste something this good, Lexi. Please! You have to try. You have to stop being afraid of taking a chance on love. You’re fearless in a lot of ways, but when it comes to your heart?’ His voice was softer now and his smile gentle. ‘Not so much. I’ve seen the way that man looks atyou. Hurting you is the last thing on his mind.’
‘But what about me hurting him?’
‘Why don’t you let me worry about that?’ Cal’s voice from the doorway made me jump. Marco merely turned, calm as ever, accepting the almost imperceptible nod that Cal gave him.
‘How long have you been standing there?’ I asked, quickly dragging the heel of my hand across my cheeks.
‘Long enough.’
‘It’s rude toeavesdrop. Didn’t your mother ever …’ I stopped, suddenly realising just how inappropriate my automatic response was. I’d been trying to cover just how excruciatingly awkward I felt and had now managed only to add to the very feeling I was trying to alleviate. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean … I wasn’t thinking.’
‘It’s all right, Lexi.’ His voice was soft, and with the way he was looking at me, I gotthe distinct feeling his response wasn’t only in reference to my spectacular foot-in-mouth moment.
Marco broke the spell. ‘I should go before this weather really sets in.’
‘They’re saying there’s a big storm headed this way. You going to be OK getting back in that?’ Cal nodded at the window, indicating the outline of the sleek Lamborghini parked there, its matt black body slowly being broughtinto the spirit of the season thanks to the tiny snowflakes that were now settling gently and decorating the dark paintwork.
‘Yes, thanks. If I leave now, I’ll be back in London before the roads are too affected.’
Cal nodded, and Marco turned to me. His eyes were kind as he took my hands. ‘Thank your family for having me tonight.’ We all threw a glance as a big whoop went up from the other room.God knew what they were up to, but from the gales of laughter that followed, it was something fun. A smile tempted my face. How I’d missed the sound of that laughter for all those years. And how I’d miss it if I left again. But I had to. Didn’t I?
‘I’d say it myself but I don’t want to interrupt whatever’s going on in there. And congratulations to your brother and his wife. I’m so happy for them.’
