Page 46 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
Chapter Ten
Back in the car it wasn’t long before the day began catching up on me so I was glad Cal was refreshed enough to drive back. He’d stuck the heater on and I’d pushed off my boots and now sat curled up on the seat. He fished a blanket from the back and draped it over me.
‘You OK?’
I nodded.
‘Get some rest.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m OK.’
Cal leant towards me, his fingers gently tuckinga loose strand of hair back behind my ear. The rough plait I’d stuck my hair in this morning was finally giving in.
‘Are you always this stubborn about everything?’ he asked, his voice low.
I didn’t answer and instead kept my eyes focused on the dashboard, trying to keep my breathing even as his hand brushed against my skin, the warmth of it contrasting with the coolness of the snowflakes thathad been stinging against it just a few moments ago.
His eyes were on me, I knew, but I didn’t dare look into them. I knew if I did, I’d be pretty much lost. Cal Martin was gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and loved many of the same things I did. And if Giselle was to be believed, he might even sort of like me. Which all in all meant one thing. Trouble. And right now, that was the last thing I needed.
Cal sat back and, glancing around to check it was clear, began pulling out of the pub’s thankfully large car park, carefully manoeuvring the trailer with its precious cargo onto the main road and back in the direction of the village. We still had a long drive ahead of us and the snow was heavier now. Luckily it was mostly main roads we had to use to get home and, as we saw another gritter lorryon the opposite carriageway, it was reassuring to know that these were being kept as clear as possible.
I was doing my best not to fall asleep but it was definitely a struggle. I wasn’t sure exactly why I didn’t feel comfortable giving in to the tiredness now seeping through my body and mind. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Cal or his driving. In fact, I had a nagging suspicion it was quite theopposite. Today had been one of the best days I’d had in a long time and I knew it would soon be over. Childishly, I was forcing myself to stay awake so that I didn’t miss any of it. Well, that and the very real worry of sleep drooling. Nobody needed to see that. Especially not Cal Martin.
He glanced across at me and seeing that I was indeed stubborn enough to fight sleep he gave me a quick rollof his eyes. My body was also protesting at my choices and had apparently decided that if the rest of me wasn’t going to sleep, as least some of me was. I wiggled a bit in the seat.
‘Numb bum?’
‘Ummhmm.’
‘Want some help?’
I cut my eyes to him and he gave me the briefest of glances, a wickedly tempting smile on his face, before he focused back on the road. Honestly, he really wasn’t helpingmy resolve to be sensible and stick to the plan. Not that I had that much of a plan but I did know getting involved with Cal Martin wasn’t part of it.
‘No. But thank you for the offer.’
‘Any time.’
The worrying thing about that reply was that I wasn’t entirely sure it was a joke.
‘So,’ Cal said, seeing that I was determined to fight closing my eyes. ‘You said you thought you missed out ona lot of stuff before, being away with the job?’
I wiggled a bit more. ‘I did,’ I said a little sadly, thinking of the celebrations I’d only been part of vicariously through seeing photographs and videos on email and social media. ‘This past year has been a bit of an eye-opener. I’ve been able to attend birthday parties, weddings, even just dinners with my family and friends. All things I’d missedout on for the past several years. It had become normal to not be able to attend. When someone asked me if I could make an event, it was almost automatic to say no immediately because that was usually what the answer ended up being.’
‘It’s not easy to miss out on stuff when you have such a close family and great friends, which you clearly do.’
‘No. And I think I’d just got used to it. Whichisn’t right, really.’ I shuffled around in my seat a little to face him more. ‘I think what really brought it home to me was the first time I said I could attend something. It was one of my brother’s birthdays and we were going to have a meal at my parents’, like we always do. Anyway, when he asked and I just casually said yes I’d be there, I happened to see my mum’s face. She actually had tears inher eyes. I never really realised – or at least I suppose I’d forgotten – how much it means to her and Dad to have everyone around them on occasions like that. Any time really, but especially for things like that.’
‘That must have made you happy then? That you could make your mum happy like that?’
‘Actually, I felt like the most enormous shit for making her unhappy on all the previous occasionswhen I’d had to say no.’
Cal kept his eyes on the road but he reached out his hand and took mine for a moment. ‘You were doing what you loved. She understood.’ He gave my fingers the briefest of squeezes before resting his hand back on the wheel.
I nodded. ‘I guess.’
‘Are you missing it all? Not the being away a lot part, obviously. But the work? Your colleagues?’
‘Sometimes. It’s what I know.What I’m good at. Although I have been enjoying getting involved in the shop. Much more than I thought I would really. Growing up, I spent so much time there. I know it’s just a shop but I missed it. It’s been hard work for my parents and brothers, making it the success it is, but we all love it. It’s part of the family. And while we’re really busy at the moment, it’s a nice busy. There isn’tthe same pressure that there was with the team. I thought I needed that pressure but apparently it turns out I quite like it when it’s not there.’
