Page 53 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
‘I know. But they looked so good in here, I asked thesellers if they would consider leaving them as I liked them so much. It turned out the owner had made them herself so she was quite flattered apparently. George knows that his fingers and those curtains are not to meet.’ He stood up from where the fire had now caught and stretched his back before taking the seat next to me, filling the space. ‘He’s pretty good, actually.’
‘You’ve obviously taughthim well.’
He smiled into his mug. ‘Thanks.’ His eyes lifted to mine. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I’m totally winging this whole parenting thing.’
‘No one would ever know.’
He transferred the smile to me, and my traitorous mouth returned it. I took a sip of the rich, dark coffee and listened as the fire crackled and popped. Heavy rain was beating against the silk-covered windows. Cal frowned, hishead turning towards the sound.
‘It sounds really foul out there.’
‘Yes. Not the most pleasant of evenings.’ I caught a glance. ‘I mean out there. Obviously.’
A small smile curved his mouth. ‘You need to relax. I didn’t think anything.’
‘Oh. Right. Well. Just checking.’
He raised a dark brow.
‘So, anyway.’
‘That was a smooth change of subject.’
I gave him an eye roll and stuck out my tonguefor good measure. ‘You said you were winging it, you know, the parenting thing. Xander said something about you doing this on your own since George was born. Is that right?’
Cal took a deep breath.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I forget that you’re not originally from here and therefore used to our nosy ways.’
‘No. You’re not prying. It’s fine. And yes, you’re right. George’s mother wasn’tinterested in having anything to do with him.’
I thought about the little boy in his bedroom across the house, and what she was missing out on. Staying silent, I let the decision as to whether to tell me more fall to Cal.
‘When Annabel found out she was pregnant, her first thought was to get rid of it. She’d never had a particularly regular cycle so when she didn’t come on for a few months,she didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t unusual for her. She wasn’t sick and she’d been entertaining clients a lot, so the small amount of weight she did put on, she just put down to rich, late meals. By the time she realised she was actually pregnant she’d missed the window to do anything …’ he paused ‘… like she wanted to.’
‘But you were obviously happy about the baby?’
The smile that cameonto his face as his thoughts returned to that moment would have melted the iciest of hearts. Mine, therefore, was total mush.
‘Thrilled to bits!’ He slid a half-smile to me. ‘Much to my surprise, I must admit. I’d never considered having kids. It wasn’t like I’d had an idyllic childhood and so I guess I had kind of a skewed vision of what bringing a child into the world meant. I wasn’t interestedin anything like that. The most in-depth relationship I ever had was with the cars I worked on. I definitely never had any intention of taking on responsibility for a being who relied on me for every single thing.’
I smiled. ‘I sense there’s a but coming.’
He flashed me a grin. ‘But. The moment she told me? All of that went away. Completely. I felt something change, somewhere deep inside me.Like a switch or … I don’t know. Maybe a barrier lifting. I’d grown up feeling that the only person I could trust was myself, and that children were so often just pawns, or weapons, in a relationship when it goes wrong. But from that second, I knew that this was really what I wanted. What I’d maybe always wanted but had never accepted and just shut out because I didn’t think I had anything to offera child.’
Without thinking, I laid my hand on his. ‘Cal, never say that. You have so very much to offer.’
He moved his hand and mine slipped within it, as his strong, warm fingers closed around it, squeezing mine gently.
‘It was a revelation to me, I have to say. From the moment she told me, I suddenly had so much love for this little being who I hadn’t even met yet. I never realised I waseven capable of feeling that much.’
My throat was too thick to say anything so I returned the hand squeeze and hoped that that said everything I couldn’t form into words right now.
‘Annabel was definitely less than thrilled though,’ Cal said, pulling a face. ‘She lives a very high-flying lifestyle and she was on the fast track to a huge promotion and partnership. A baby was the last thing onher mind then, or ever.’
‘You had no plans for a family together then?’
‘No. Not at all. We didn’t really have any plans full stop. I’m not big on attending functions but I had to go to this particular one and she was there, and clearly in her element, unlike me. I think she took pity on me and came over to talk to me.’
