Page 67 of My Year of Saying No
‘I do.’
‘Why don’t you just ask him out?’
‘Because I don’t want to.’
Jess rolled her eyes. ‘Harry darling? Could you call the fire brigade? Lottie’s pants are on fire. Get them to send several engines. It’s a full-blown inferno.’
* * *
‘You look happy!’ Seb smiled, as he set me back after one of his way too good hugs.
‘I am. I have a new car!’
And a new, far more sensible attitude about you. I can do this.
‘Also, right now, if I hadn’t had my yearly plan in place, I’d be sat at a baby shower I didn’t want to attend, pretending I was enjoying myself while everyone talked about things that currently have absolutely no relevance to my life.’
‘Instead you’re here.’
‘Exactly!’
Seb grinned. ‘Then, I for one am very glad of your plan for the moment. And I’m pretty sure Scooby and Humphrey are too,’ he added as the two dogs had now said hello and started charging round the house playing.
‘For the moment?’
He smiled again, taking my coat. ‘Yes. Because it works in my favour.’
‘You sound like Jess.’
‘Your best friend?’
‘Yes. She was saying the same thing in a roundabout way just the other day.’
‘Wise woman.’
‘Sometimes,’ I said, pushing her advice to just ‘bloody well ask him out’ as she’d left my flat the other night to the back of my mind. ‘Sometimes not so much.’
‘Because of last year?’
Yep. Let’s go with that.
‘The perfect example. But, like I said to her, I’m taking the positives from that. I learned stuff about myself and if I hadn’t done that, I might not be saying no more now.’
Seb nodded. ‘Want a drink before we head out?’
* * *
After a long walk with the dogs, Seb and I had gone back to his house, to be greeted by the delicious aroma of a hearty and warming stew he’d put in the oven to slow cook before we left. Over this, accompanied by fresh, crusty bread and good wine, we’d talked and laughed and completely relaxed. The slight awkwardness that had arisen the weekend before was washed away, replaced by comfort and ease. I’d come to my senses at last. There was no denying I thought Seb was gorgeous and all the things I’d told Jess. But I’d also confirmed to myself he was totally off the menu, accepting instead that we had a fabulous friendship and that was better than anything that might be risked by letting my crush continue. So I’d had a long talk with myself and I was done with it. Totally. Absolutely done.
‘Night, Lottie,’ Seb said, hugging me as we finally said goodnight, having sat up talking into the early hours once again.
God, he smelled good… I stomped on the thought.It’s the year of saying no, remember?I reminded myself. And getting high on Seb Marshall’s aftershave was a definite no.
‘Night, Seb. Thanks for today.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he said, leaning on the door jamb, watching as I tucked Humphrey into his bed beside me. ‘You know you’re both welcome any time. It’s nice having company.’
I plonked down onto my bum and looked up at him, the outlines just slightly fuzzy from a combination of wine and tiredness. ‘You know you could get company really easily, don’t you?’
