Page 74 of My Year of Saying No
But what if I want to?
‘I know,’ I repeated, digging deep to find my breeziest voice. ‘Just habit. With everyone. Don’t worry. You’re not special.’
He stepped back and nodded. ‘Yep, I know. I’m just saying. A tiny dog leaning on me isn’t going to break me. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t have a prosthetic. All I’m asking is that you treat me the same as you would any other bloke.’
‘Sorry.’ I shuffled my feet and bent down, scooping up Humphrey and cuddling him to me, partly for comfort and partly for something to do rather than just standing there feeling awkward.
‘There’s nothing to apologise for,’ Seb said, reaching forward and fluffing Humph’s fur as I held him, his eyes not meeting mine. Tilting his wrist, he then glanced at me. ‘Do you need to finish getting ready, or did you decide you liked this look after all?’ He gave a tiny quirk of his dark brows, the eyes beneath them smiling once again, easing the feeling that I might have made a blunder.
‘I don’t know. What do you think?’
Seb flicked the ends of one of my pinned up plaits. ‘I think you’ll look gorgeous whatever you choose,’ he shrugged. ‘You know that.’
‘I’m not so sure about that, but so long as I’m sort of presentable, and don’t show either you or my parents up, I’ll take that as a win.’
Seb gave an eye roll, took Humphrey from my arms with one large hand and gave my hair another flick. ‘You’re not, and never will, show anyone up. Now just get your arse in that bedroom and do whatever it is you’re going to do.’
I gave him a sarcastic salute. ‘Yes, sir.’
He let out a warm, rumbling laugh. ‘Oh, Lots, you wouldn’t have lasted five minutes.’
There was probably some truth in that.
He checked his watch. ‘I’m happy to continue this later, but if we’re not going to be late, and you’re planning to wear something other than that dressing gown, you might want to get a shifty on.’
I leaned over to look at his wrist. ‘Oh crikey! Is that the time? Why didn’t you say something?’
‘I just did.’
‘Earlier! Make yourself at home. I’ll be back out shortly.’
* * *
When I came out of my bedroom, Seb had taken my suggestion seriously and was sat on the sofa, Humphrey on his lap, glancing through a gardening magazine I’d borrowed off my dad. I hesitated for a moment, unused to having a man sat in my living room and slightly overwhelmed by the fact that having Seb there felt so entirely natural, as if he’d been there a hundred times before, when, in truth, it was his first time visiting me and we’d only actually met up in person three times. And one of those times had resulted in him asking me out and being turned down flat. Thankfully, his ego seemed to be fairly robust, and proceeding with his suggestion of us both forgetting he’d ever said anything seemed to be working pretty well.
‘I didn’t know you had access to a garden with the flat,’ he said, giving the magazine a little flap. ‘That’s—’ he stopped as he turned his head. ‘Umm… nice. Having an outdoor space, I mean.’
I pulled a face. ‘I don’t, actually. I have about two and a half paving slabs. I’d love a garden, but for the moment I have to just enjoy reading those mags and pretend.’
He stood, shifting his position slightly once he was upright. ‘You’re always welcome in mine. You know, if you ever have an overwhelming desire to… dig stuff.’
‘Dig stuff?’ I laughed, grabbing my door keys off the side and glancing at my phone.
Seb shrugged, broad shoulders rippling the fine cotton of the pale blue shirt. ‘I’m not very green fingered, as you might be able to tell. Much to my dad’s chagrin. He’d love you!’
‘Nobody is born with green fingers, but we all have to start somewhere, don’t we?’
‘That’s true. Trial and error.’
‘Kind of like life really.’
Seb took the coat I had slung over my arm from me and held it out, allowing me to slip my arms into it. As I swiped blindly for the belt, my hand brushed his as he passed it to me.
‘Thanks,’ I smiled, turning back to face him.
‘You look beautiful.’
The words were simple and honest and took me completely by surprise.
