Page 77 of My Year of Saying No
Seb watched me for a moment, taking the time to make his own decision on this before lifting his head and looking out at the view. ‘Wow.’
‘Yes, it is a bit, isn’t it?’ Below and around us, London twinkled, shimmered and glowed. The modern skyline soared upwards, dwarfing its historic counterparts, although they refused to be overwhelmed, standing strong and reminding residents and visitors that this city was a complex place with much more to offer than just commerce.
‘Can you imagine waking up to this every day?’ Seb asked.
‘I like it more like this with all the lights twinkling. Cities always look better this way, I think.’
Seb leant on the banister rail.
‘Is that safe?’ I asked, still a couple of steps back from the edge.
‘I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.’
‘I’m not. I’m afraid of falling from them. It’s an entirely different thing.’
‘Come here.’ He held out a hand.
I hesitated.
‘Come on. I promise I won’t let go.’
‘I can see perfectly well from here.’
Seb gave me a patient look, his hand still held out towards me.
I sucked in a deep breath and reached out. Gently his large, warm hand closed around my cool, smaller one and I took a step nearer the glass of the balcony surround.
‘One more.’
I did so, and then I was there, one hand gripping Seb’s for dear life, the other almost welded to the cold steel of the rail, knuckles showing white in the stylish but low outdoor lighting Harry had had installed.
‘All right?’ Seb asked, his voice soft but without any hint of condescension.
I suddenly realised I’d been holding my breath. I let it out in a whoosh, the word ‘Yes’ being swept along in it.
He nodded, remaining silent, letting me take in the view better as I felt my muscles gradually relax.
‘Why do you like cities more at night?’ he asked.
‘I suppose it’s a different feel. It’s like it has a mask on like this.’
‘A mask?’
‘Yes. Like we both know there’s dirt, and greed, and crime and so on going on out there, and in every city all the time, day or night. But when you look at them like this, it’s all hidden. It looks pretty and sparkling. Like a swathe of Christmas lights, and you can forget about all the bad stuff because it’s out of sight.’
‘You can’t just pretend the bad stuff isn’t there though,’ Seb argued, his tone gentle. ‘At least, that’s not a great long-term plan. It fails eventually. Real life has a habit of intruding.’
‘Yeah, I know. But you asked.’
‘I did.’
He turned back so that we were both facing the river, our hands still joined and now both resting up on the rail.
‘You’d tell me if there was something you were having trouble with, wouldn’t you?’
I turned towards him. ‘Me?’
‘Yes.’
