Page 129 of My Year of Saying No
‘I’m pretty sure I can help with that, if you need assistance.’
‘I most certainly don’t need assistance, thank you very much!’ I laughed as I stood and jiggled about for a few moments, trying to wake things up.
Seb pushed himself up and once more gained the height advantage. At our feet, the dogs stretched and Seb took the leads from me so that he could walk them over to the base of the tree for them to tinkle. When he returned, I’d stopped jiggling and everything was more or less back to normal.
‘Better?’ he asked, holding out his arm for me to take again, both the leads hanging loosely over his other wrist, with Scoobs and Humphrey waiting patiently.
‘Much.’
‘Shame,’ he winked and we moved off, my phone ringing just as we did.
‘Hi, Mum,’ I answered.
‘Hello, love? You two all right?’
‘Yes, thanks. Where are you?’
‘We’re over in one of the refreshment tents, near the centre of the show, and we just wondered if you wanted to join us? No pressure,’ she added, casually.
I grinned and gave Seb a little eye roll. ‘Want to go and meet the parentals for a coffee?’
‘And cake! Tell him there’s cake. Lots of it!’ I heard Seb’s dad add, laughter in his voice, and felt a rush of happiness warm my veins.
‘Apparently there’s cake, your dad says.’
‘Then we should definitely do that.’
‘We’re on our way.’
‘Lovely. There’s a stall to the left of it selling copper ornaments, including a huge giraffe. It’s hard to miss. We’ll save you some seats.’
‘OK, see you in a minute.’ I disconnected and stuck the phone back in my pocket. ‘It sounds like your dad is having a good time. I hope so anyway.’
‘He will be.’
We walked on.
‘There’s something else I need to say.’ Seb’s voice was soft.
I looked up.
‘I don’t ever want to go another week without talking to you.’
I rested my head on his arm as we walked along, the gesture and closeness hopefully conveying my feelings more than any words could. ‘It was kind of weird.’ I said after a few moments.
He stopped and I pinged gently back against him. ‘It was more than weird for me. It was… awful. Empty.’
‘You knew where I was,’ I said, quietly. ‘And it was you that didn’t show up to our normal Skype meeting on Monday. When that happened, I just guessed you were still angry and didn’t want to talk to me.’
‘I should have messaged you to explain about that. After everything with Jamie and Dad, I was kind of exhausted and they didn’t want me to drive home. I’m not sure I could have done, to be honest. We went back to the house and talked some more and I ended up staying over. I guess it took it out of me even more than I thought as when I woke up the next morning it was nearly 11 a.m. and I hadn’t heard a thing. When there’s two small children in the house, that’s saying something.’
‘That’s true.’
‘Like I said, I should have just rung you then and there, but once I replayed my actions of the day before, I kept faltering, knowing I’d acted like a complete dick and just couldn’t think why you’d even want to hear from me. So, I convinced myself it would be better for me to leave it a bit, let things settle.’
‘I can understand, but, from where I stood, it just felt like you didn’t want to talk to me.’
He placed his free hand gently on my other arm and looked at me, intently, honestly. I could see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes. ‘I don’t think there’s ever been a point since we met that I haven’t wanted to talk to you, as probably evidenced by the fact I kept you up talking until about 2 a.m. when you came to stay.’
