Page 63 of My Year of Saying No
I popped the box of cake on top of my bag to take back to Angus. When he still didn’t say anything, I shifted in my seat. ‘Not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done so far.’
‘I know,’ he said, flicking me a smile as he pushed his arms back into his jacket. Zipping it up, he pulled the beanie hat out of a pocket and put it on.
‘Seb?’
‘Hmm?’
‘You’ve gone weird.’
‘What?’
‘You. You’ve gone weird.’
At this, his smile broke through and the feeling dissipated, but there was no denying it had, momentarily, been there.
‘I do not go weird,’ he stated.
‘You just did.’
He shook his head and motioned for me to go ahead of him. The car was parked close and, once inside, engine running and a warm breath of air filtering through, Seb turned to me. ‘OK, so here’s the deal. You were right. I did go a bit weird in there.’
‘Was it something I said?’
‘Kind of.’
I opened my mouth to apologise, or explain, or… something, but Seb held up his hand.
‘But this is definitely a case of it’s me not you.’
‘Oh god. That’s never a good thing to hear.’
He leant over and laid a hand over where I was now gripping my own together. Even if I got over the fact that Seb didn’t fancy me, which I’d kind of worked out already as I’d been single for some time now and he’d never attempted to ask me out, I had to admit I’d been holding onto the tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps there might be a spark once he met me in real life.
‘I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.’
‘You could never do that.’
‘It’s just that I know you’re on your Year of Saying No thing and I didn’t want to put you in a position that would make you feel awkward, or us awkward.’
I swallowed and tried not to make that loud gulp noise that always happens when you’re trying to be subtle. ‘I don’t think anything you say could make me feel that way, Seb.’ My voice was soft and my heart had sped up. Maybe I’d got it wrong after all? Maybe—
‘I didn’t really have anything planned this afternoon. Angus has taken Scoobs off on a massive hike and I’d only be sat at home on my own anyway, so I’m happy to come back with you. Gives us a bit longer to hang out too.’
I nodded, the balloon of excitement and ridiculous romanticism deflating with a sad, slightly rude, noise inside my head.
Seb winced, and sat back, turning to the steering wheel. ‘See? This is why I should have just kept quiet. You’ve already spent way more time than you expected with me and, unlike on the phone, you can’t just hang up when you’re bored.’
‘I’ve never done that!’
He glanced over. ‘That is true. And I thank you for that.’
‘And I’d love for us to get to spend a bit longer together.’
‘Lottie, it’s fine,’ he said, putting the car into drive. ‘It’s me. We made a pact ages ago about being polite for politeness sake. Let’s not change that now.’
‘I’m not,’ I said, calmly. Honestly. ‘I would love for you to come back to the garage with me.’
He gave me a sideways, slightly suspicious glance. ‘So why the expression?’
