Page 100 of Winter at Wishington Bay
I shook my head but Nate gently squeezed the hand he still held. ‘It was, Soph. You made me feel like me again. I’d forgotten what it was like to just be able to relax with someone, be myself, and feel that being myself was good enough. More than good enough.’
He shifted a little in his seat and turned towards me more. ‘The weekend? That was amazing. I mean, all of it. Working in Flora’s shop, sharing that time and that experience. It was wonderful. And if you’d have told me six months ago, I’d be dressing up like some Victorian gentleman, I’d have thought you were nuts. That’s really not my style.’
‘It suited you,’ I smiled a little sadly, thinking back to how good he had looked.
‘I liked it. It was fun. But then, everything was fun with you. It was easy. I never felt like I had to try. Leaving here that morning was so hard. I just wanted to be with you, and I couldn’t wait to see you again after your shift.’ His face darkened then, tension filling it. ‘And then, as I walked down the drive, a taxi pulled up and there was Serena. I had no idea she was coming and I didn’t want her here, tainting this place. Tainting all the good memories I was making.’
‘But you were too polite to tell her to leave.’
He flicked his startling blue gaze up from where he was gently running the pad of one finger over my thumbnail.
‘I was so shocked to see her, I don’t even remember what I said. But Serena has a tendency to take over, and before I knew it she was in the house, making herself at home. Telling me that she missed me, that the fling with the tennis guy was all over and it had only been a,’ he paused. ‘Now, how did she put it? “A desperate, selfless attempt to get you to notice me again”.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yeah. I know.’
‘From what I saw, she’s pretty hard not to notice.’
‘I bent over backwards for that woman. And I didn’t care. I just wanted to make her happy. But I realise now that nothing would. And that our whole marriage, our whole relationship, had been about me making her happy, us doing things she wanted to do. There was no give and take. I was so crazy about her I didn’t see it, but everyone else did. But I definitely see it now.’
‘Maybe she did feel you weren’t noticing her? It can feel like that once you’ve been in a relationship or married for a while.’
‘Serena always made a point of being noticed. It was nothing to do with that, trust me. She just liked the attention and her tennis coach is pretty charismatic, which, as you’ve noticed, isn’t exactly one of my top qualities.’ He did a half smile and I knew he wasn’t just fishing for compliments.
‘You do yourself an injustice.’
Our eyes met and tenderly he leant his head against mine for a moment.
‘Tennis Guy just got fed up with her constant demands. The sheen had worn off for him and he broke it off. Of course, then she panicked and thought she’d come back to me. I’d always taken her back before. Why not this time?’
‘She’d done this before?’
‘A few times. Never actually shacked up with a bloke before, but stormed off, saying she was leaving. Anyway, she just assumed that’s how it would be and came here, and started acting as if she owned the place, and told me about all these plans she had for us to do this, that and the other. None of which, I have to say, appealed to me. There was no discussion. There wasn’t even an apology. She just slotted herself right back into position as if she’d never left.’
I swallowed. That was exactly how it had seemed when I’d called on Nate that day as the snow fell round me. Serena had stood there, her arm possessively around his waist, dictating what I should and shouldn’t cook and looking for all the world like she owned the place.
‘Except she didn’t fit any longer.’
I met Nate’s eyes.
‘It didn’t feel right. I knew as soon as she got out of the taxi I wouldn’t take her back this time. Other times, I’d always been partly relieved to see her back. But this time, I felt… nothing.’
‘But when I came… she looked… I mean, you looked…’
He let out a sigh. ‘Serena’s pretty sharp in a lot of ways. And I’m sure Corinne had filled her in to some extent too. I’m a bank account and an easy life to Serena, and she wasn’t about to let that go easily so she steamrollered her way through, just like she always does. And fool that I am, I’ve always just laid down and let it happen before. But this time it was different. This time I knew what love should feel like and this was nothing like it.’
‘Love?’ I asked, the word breaking as I said it.
His hand cupped my cheek. ‘Yes. Love.’
‘But when I came…’ My stomach was performing backward flips but I was still confused.
‘I know. I was so caught up with telling Serena that it was definitely over, and her screaming back at me that it wasn’t and nobody but her decides things are over, and how dare I – you get the picture. Then when she saw that wasn’t working, she tried the charm tactic.’ He raised a brow. ‘Sadly for her, that charm had long worn off for me. But just trying to get her to listen and, more importantly, leave was stressing me out. And then you arrived.’
‘I hadn’t meant to interrupt anything.’
‘I know. Like I said, I should have messaged you, but I was still trying to find which way was up. All I wanted to do was pull you to me and hold you and wish the rest of it away but I know how devious Serena can be. I had to hold back because I didn’t want you drawn into things any more than was necessary. Of course, I didn’t know Corinne had told her I was seeing someone then. But the way she spoke to you, ordering you about, I couldn’t take it and I was just about to say something when she recognised you.’
