Page 75 of Winter at Wishington Bay
‘And back to the original question, I didn’t mean you were calling me dull. Even when your temper is up, I don’t think you’d have been that mean.’
I leant against the wall as Nate held the kettle up in silent invitation and I smiled in acceptance.
‘Certainly not intentionally.’
He flicked the kettle to boil and turned back to me. ‘The comment was one often repeated by my wife.’
‘Then she’s wrong.’
‘Not necessarily. I did work a lot.’
‘That doesn’t automatically mean you’re dull. People spend a lot of time at work for all sorts of reasons, not least to earn money to do things that are fun.’
‘That’s true.’
‘Can I say something?’
Nate poured water into the teapot and set it in front of us on the coffee table to brew as we took a seat each on the sofa. ‘Am I going to like it?’
‘I don’t know.’
He took a deep breath, turning a little more towards me. ‘Come on then, let me have it.’
I smiled. ‘It’s not that bad, don’t worry.’
‘A statement which makes me even more concerned.’
I bumped my shoulder against his and grinned before looking back up at him, my smile fading a little as other feelings took its place.
‘So, what is it?’ he asked, pouring the tea.
‘I was just thinking that maybe it’s time to start letting go of all the more uncomplimentary things you may have been told over the years.’ Nate shifted position a little, keeping his eyes averted.
‘I know it’s not that easy,’ I said, resting a hand briefly on his arm. ‘It’s always easier for us to believe the bad stuff for some reason. But there comes a point where we just have to stand up for ourselves and be our own cheerleader.’
Nate placed a perfect cup of tea in front of me. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d say that this advice was coming from personal experience.’
I lifted the drink and he met my eyes over his own mug. ‘It might be.’
He fixed me with a look.
‘OK,’ I said taking a sip before returning the china mug back to its coaster. ‘It’s definitely coming from experience. And that’s why I know how important it is for you to let go of all the bad stuff. All it does is eat away at you, making you more and more unhappy and insecure, and for what?’ I turned to face Nate more. He’d replaced his tea on the table, beside mine, and now it felt like his whole being was focused on me. It was a little hard to concentrate with that amount of hotness centred on me, but I made the effort.
‘It’s just one person’s opinion of you, Nate. I know you loved her very much, but you can’t let words like that shape you for the rest of your life. At some point, you need to take back control and decide who you are, and who you want to be and start taking steps to make that happen.’
For a moment, Nate said nothing. I sat watching him for a moment, wondering if I had overstepped the mark.
‘It’s not that easy though, is it?’ His gaze flicked up and met mine, a half smile on his lips but sadness in his eyes. ‘I mean, it sounds so easy. Be positive. Move on. Simple words. And you sit there thinking, how hard can it be?’ He shifted position and glanced out at the sea, the foam being whipped by the beginnings of a storm weather forecasters had announced coming in from the Atlantic. ‘Turns out those little words are some of the hardest to live by. At least, it seems that way to me for the moment.’
‘Sometimes it’s the smallest words that can have the biggest impact.’
Nate gave me an even look.
‘Oh God,’ I laughed, breaking the tension. ‘I sound like some cheesy self-help book.’ I was glad to see that this time his smile reached his eyes. ‘And I’m not knocking self-help books. God knows I’ve gone some way to keeping that particular part of the publishing industry in business over the past couple of years!’
‘Is that right?’
‘Well, I certainly seem to have acquired quite the collection.’
