Page 95 of Winter at Wishington Bay
Even my mother had the wherewithal to briefly raise her eyes to the ceiling at this, letting out a sigh as she did so.
‘Don’t be so stupid, Jeremy. Everyone knows you were the problem in this relationship.’ She gave him another cool glance, her eyes travelling up and down briefly. ‘And at least Sophia didn’t have you lose all scrap of dignity by making you wear those absurd clothes.’
I watched them both for a moment. Jeremy was practically vibrating with fury. If he exploded then and there, I wouldn’t have been surprised.
‘I don’t have time for all this,’ he snapped. ‘See if you can talk some damn sense into her!’ With that, he stormed out of the room and thundered down the stairs in a manner that suggested a herd of wildebeest had just left my living room. There was a brief surge of noise as the door opened and then closed with such force that a couple of my ornaments shook.
Standing, I crossed to the window, careful to remain in the shadow of the curtains. Jeremy was pushing past the reporters, his mouth making shapes that, if his puce coloured skin was anything to go by, weren’t pleasant well wishes. He jerked the car door open and got in. Within seconds he was out again, snatching the ticket off the windscreen and staring at it for a moment before throwing it forcefully inside the car as he got back in. Slamming the door, he revved the engine and sped off down the narrow road in a manner that, if he wasn’t careful, would add a dangerous driving ticket to his collection.
* * *
I returned to my seat and said nothing. My mother gave a glance over the armchair, as if seeing whether it was worthy of her gracing it with her backside. Apparently it met her standards, and she sat.
‘He’s making an absolute fool of himself, marrying that girl.’
‘Well, lucky for me, all the final paperwork has now been signed so I really don’t care what he does. I have what I need which is all I ever wanted.’
‘It’s his fault you’re in all this mess now. I do know that, of course. Everyone does.’
I sat up a little straighter. ‘I’m not in any “mess”, Mother. I made my own decision to leave that house and that marriage and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.’
‘Well, why would you?’ she asked, incredulous. ‘You had everything you could ever want. A beautiful house, car, clothes and a title. Not to mention more money than you could ever need.’
‘I also had a husband who didn’t love me and had countless, and sometimes very public, affairs.’
My mother shrugged. ‘Often that’s just part of the deal.’
I shot up out of the chair. ‘Well, that wasn’t the deal I signed up for. And it wasn’t part of the deal for you!’
My mother looked up at me for a moment before looking away. ‘No, it wasn’t. You are right, of course. I was exceptionally lucky with your father. He was a very special man. There aren’t many like him.’
‘I miss him.’ My voice was soft. I’d planned to do my best to keep my emotions below the surface when Jeremy and then my mother had shown up. I’d once been very good at that, but it seemed that particular talent was one I’d lost my edge at.
As I looked back at her, I saw, for the briefest moment, a softening in my mother’s face and when she spoke, her voice was also softer, the normally hard edges of it rounded and gentle. ‘So do I.’
But then the moment was gone and her cool, assessing gaze landed back upon me.
‘So, I’ve devised a plan that will have all this cleared up as soon as possible.’ I opened my mouth to speak but she continued on. ‘You’ll come back with me today. Forget all this nonsense down here.’ She gave a brief flick of her wrist and the huge emerald ring she wore on her right hand caught the low winter sunlight, now streaming in through the window, and flashed.
‘Obviously, you must get rid of that Instagram account immediately. Honestly, Sophia, whatever were you thinking? I’ll put out a statement about you having some sort of mental breakdown as a result of your husband’s continued infidelities. Is that the right term? Mental breakdown? I can’t keep up with all this political correctness. It seems to change by the day.’ She let out an irritated sigh. ‘Anyway. My secretary can find out that day’s correct term and we’ll issue the announcement. Jeremy’s already known as rather a louse when it comes to that side of things so it will gain us some sympathy and take the focus off the rest of it, and goodness knows he doesn’t deserve to be spared if we can garner some benefit. What’s that look for?’
I shook my head. ‘This “nonsense”, as you call it, is my life. And I happen to like it. A lot! Coming here has allowed me to finally be myself and do the things I want to do instead of spending my entire life trying to please someone else – even though I never could. First it was you, and then it was Jeremy and you. But you were both impossible. Nothing I did was good enough and I finally realised that it never would be. I may have had all the things you mentioned but what does any of that mean if one doesn’t really have a life? I was merely existing. Now, here, I know what it means to really live! I’ve not had a nervous breakdown and, should you dare issue any sort of statement to that effect, or any other with respect to my life, I will contact the media myself.’
My mother was watching me now. It was pretty hard to tell, due to all the fillers and Botox, but I guessed there was something akin to surprise on her face. This was, after all, probably the most I had said to her in one go since I was a child. And certainly the first time I’d dared to really defy her.
‘What I have now is clarity. I’m happy, Mother. I know you probably don’t think I’m right about that, but the importance of your opinion is something I’ve also gained some clarity on since I left, and that’s actually been incredibly freeing.’
I gave another glance out of the window. The crowd were still milling around but their enthusiasm seemed to have waned a little, and I could see a few of them heading off in the direction of the chippy. The warmth of the sun through the glass was deceiving, as outside I knew a cold wind blew straight in off the sea and chilled those unprepared for it right through to their unmentionables. Of course, I had very little sympathy for the press pack and wouldn’t have been too upset to learn that some of those unmentionables had got frostbite. When I turned back, my mother was watching me. There was no wariness in her eyes as there had been with Jeremy. For all her faults, she’d always had more balls than my ex-husband. But there was something in her gaze. As though she were seeing me for the first time. And I suppose, in a way, she was. She was seeing a new and, I liked to think, vastly improved, version of me.
‘Do you know how hard it was to be constantly criticised by you? I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t always striving to please you.’
‘I think you’re being rather overdramatic, Sophia.’ Her tone had a touch of boredom to it now, but I didn’t care. She’d barged into to my home, into my new life, so she could damn well sit and listen.
‘No, Mother, I’m not. And I think, maybe deep down,’ I looked over at her, ‘incredibly deep down,’ she looked up at my tone, ‘I think you know it too.’ She opened her mouth to speak.
‘Daddy knew it.’ She flinched slightly at that and I realised I’d finally touched a nerve. ‘But even when he discussed it with you, you couldn’t help yourself, could you?’ I sat down, suddenly exhausted. ‘I did everything I could to try and please you. Even more so when Daddy had gone. I know you were hurting and lonely and I wanted to be there for you. For us to be there for each other. But you didn’t want that, did you?’
‘It was a very difficult time, Sophia. I’d lost my husband.’ Her voice was even but I’d now abandoned all hope of keeping the calm, collected exterior of my past.
