Page 100 of Just Say Yes
‘Thank you,’ I said, a faint smile breaking through. ‘He would have loved you. And Bod.’
‘I’m sure the feeling would have been mutual.’
‘Thank you,’ I said again, not only because it was the most perfect thing he could have said, but because I knew he meant it.
‘After I’d been checked out at the hospital myself, and had a broken shoulder set and various cuts patched up, they put me in a private room and a doctor came in to tell me that Mum and Dad were also gone. The lights I’d seen were a lorry. During the inquest, it came out that the driver was driving under the influence of drugs and lost control. The truck jackknifed and ploughed into our car. My parents were both killed on impact. The driver of the lorry was arrested and didn’t have a mark on him.’
‘Jesus, Maddie.’ Lorcan’s words were as soft as a breath as he wrapped his arms around me and all I felt, all I knew and wanted to know, was his warm, solid bulk as my tears soaked into his navy-blue padded jacket.
* * *
‘Thanks,’ I said, handing Lorcan back the travel mug as we sat cosily in the car, having walked back down from the ruins. Initially we’d just sat there together, Lorcan’s arms tight around me as I rested my head against his solid chest and stared out at the ocean, watching the patterns on the surface change as the clouds played hide and seek with an elusive sun. We didn’t speak. There was no need to. I knew he was there for me and that was enough.
‘Did you want to go back to the house now? There’s a bit of daylight left so we’ve still got time to have a general drive around and see a bit more countryside.’ He sent me a half-grin. ‘To be fair, most of it is just more fields and more sheep so don’t be expecting a lot of variety.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind for my Tripadvisor review.’
‘That’d be grand.’
I loved that he hadn’t asked me how I was feeling now, or some other platitude. What could he say anyway? I wasn’t sure I even knew how I was feeling. It was a long time since I’d spoken about my family, and the truth was I’d never really spoken about it in as much detail as I had sitting up on those rocks. Family had obviously come up in previous relationships but I’d always dealt with the subject in a slightly clinical, detached way. The only way I could. I’d say that they’d died when I was younger and wouldn’t elaborate. I’d never spoken about Henry to anyone. Not until now. He’d been too special, too precious, too heartbreaking to talk about. But something about this place – and this man – had emptied my heart and I didn’t regret it. I was glad I’d told him. And I’d meant what I said. Henry really would have adored him.
‘I’d love to see a bit more of the area, if you have time?’
‘All the time in the world,’ he said, smiling as he turned the key, pushed the stick into gear and pulled back out onto the road. We wound around country lanes, got stuck in a cow-jam, which was so much more entertaining and relaxing than a regular traffic jam, and eventually turned back to head towards the village.
‘Did you want to go via the castle on the way back? Not to stop, but just so you can see it lit up now the light’s fading. I’m not sure you’ve ever seen that for yourself yet, have you?’
‘No, I haven’t. That’d be great. Thanks. We’ve planned for lanterns all the way along the entrance path so that’d give me a good opportunity to get a picture in my mind how that will look too.’
‘Don’t let that brain of yours go too hard into it though. This is supposed to be a day off, don’t forget, and I’m sure you’re pretty exhausted anyway.’ He flicked his gaze from the road momentarily, the look in his eyes saying more than a whole raft of words could. And he was right.
‘I promise.’
The smile spread on his face as he looked out of the front windscreen. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’
35
Lorcan opened the back door of the kitchen for me, and suddenly I felt as if I’d entered an old saloon back in the Wild West. People crowded around the table chattering but the moment I stepped in, silence washed over the room as all faces turned to ours.
‘Ah, there you are,’ Maria said, immediately coming over and helping me off with my coat before I could object. ‘Did you have yourselves a nice time? Oh my, your poor face is freezing. Come and sit down by the Aga and warm up. Cillian, move yourself and stop hogging the best seat.’
‘No, really, I’m fine,’ I said, before looking over to the man Maria had addressed. ‘Please, do stay where you are.’
‘Not at all,’ Maria overruled. ‘I’ve a job for him anyway. This is my youngest, by the way, Cillian. This is Lorcan’s friend, Madeleine, the wedding planner.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ I said, waving in lieu of being able to actually reach across the table and shake his hand.
‘And you.’ He smiled that family smile. ‘The youngestandbest-looking, obviously.’
‘Obviously,’ Lorcan said drily from behind me.
‘Now, come and sit down, Maddie. Here.’ Maria stopped for a moment and peered at me. ‘Are you feeling quite well? You look a little pale.’ She touched her hand, its skin soft, to my cheek. ‘Do you want to go and rest for a bit? Dinner won’t be for a little while yet.’
‘No, really, I’m fine, but thank you.’ Unconsciously I’d stepped back towards Lorcan as his mum began fussing over me. The dams of emotion had already been busted once today and the last thing I wanted to do was burst into tears in front of a kitchen full of people I’d never met. As I moved, I felt the warmth of Lorcan’s hand at my waist, the steady weight of it resting softly, just letting me know he was there and I was safe. The latter I certainly had no need to have worried about. After the initial lull in conversation, and introductions completed, I’d been made to feel part of the family almost at once, all of them wrapping me in a kindness that made me feel secure and relaxed. I spent time, money and energy every week attending yoga classes, all with varying names and claims, and yet not once had I ever felt as relaxed as I did now, sitting at this table, being absorbed into the heart of an Irish family.
* * *
‘I hope that wasn’t all a bit much,’ Lorcan said later as he sat on a wicker chair in my room while I unpacked the rest of my things and put them into the wardrobe. ‘The family can be a bit full on if you’re not used to it. I didn’t realise everyone was coming this evening. That particular message seems to have been left out of the family WhatsApp group chat.’
