Page 115 of Just Say Yes
‘Are you going to tell the girl?’ Maria spoke for the first time.
‘It’s fine, Maria. I don’t think any of it matters now.’
Lorcan let out an icy huff. ‘Pleased with yourself now, are you, Roísín?’
‘Don’t you dare blame her, Lorcan. This is all on you.’ And with that I walked out of the kitchen, ran up to my room and grabbed the suitcase I’d thankfully mostly packed the day before the wedding and headed back downstairs. Nobody had moved, except for Lorcan, who was nowhere to be seen.
‘Ah, love,’ his mum said, wrapping her arms around me. ‘I’m so sorry. I thought this was different. He was like his old self again once he met you.’
I swallowed hard, trying not to cry, trying not to wish that I could go home now and be wrapped in my own mum’s embrace as my heart sat broken in little pieces on the floor of my chest. One by one the family each gave me a big hug. Not many words were spoken, for which I was glad. They and I knew there was little more to be said.
‘Drive carefully now, won’t you?’
‘I will, I promise. And thank you again for all your kindness and hospitality.’
‘It was truly my pleasure, darling,’ Maria said, taking my hands within her own and bringing them to her heart. ‘You’re a special girl, so you are.’
My throat had closed, raw and painful with emotion, so I merely nodded and she did the same.
‘I’ll take that for you,’ Cillian said, grabbing the handle of my case and leading me out to the front of the house where he loaded it in the back of the car for me before wrapping me in another big hug. ‘Sorry about the big eejit,’ he said softly. ‘Doesn’t know a good thing when he sees it.’ I hugged him back, giving a squeeze of acknowledgement before letting go and opening the driver’s side door.
‘That’s it, then?’ We both turned at the deep voice. Cillian looked at me, a silent question in his eyes. I nodded and he headed back inside, but not before shooting his brother a dirty look.
‘So it would seem.’
‘Not going to give me a chance to explain?’
‘I offered you a chance. In fact, if you recall I asked you a direct question and you refused to answer so yes, Lorcan, that’s it. I’m just sorry I was stupid enough to fall for your lies. I mean,’ I slapped my hand against my forehead, ‘sleeping with the best man? What a bloody cliché! I can’t believe I fell for that after all these years.’
‘You think that’s all it was? Sex?’
‘I didn’t yesterday but right now, yes. I do.’
‘Well, it’s not.’
‘It doesn’t really matter now, does it?’ I said, turning away towards the car.
‘Not to you, it seems.’
‘Don’t you dare!’ I said, spinning back to face him. ‘Don’t you dare try and twist this so you’re the injured party.’
‘What do you want me to say? What did you think? That I was going to propose to you?’
‘Of course not, but you told me you wanted more. That I meant more to you! That things had changed for you since we met and you trusted me. The stupid thing is, I never once questioned whether I could trust you! But clearly the answer to that is no!’
‘You can trust me,’ he said, close now. ‘Of course you can, but that doesn’t mean I’m about to dive into marriage with you or anyone.’
‘If your ego can stand it, I hate to break it to you that I don’t want to either. That’s not the point. The point is that you know that’s what I’m looking for. What I’ve always been looking for and you made me believe that you were thinking the same way.’
‘I never meant to mislead you.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ I said, shoving at his broad chest. ‘I can’t even look at you right now.’
‘You’re overreacting, Maddie.’
Amazingly the thump I landed actually caused him to make a sound of not only surprise but, if not pain, then certainly discomfort.
‘Overreacting! You have a child you never told me about and you think I’m overreacting?’ I screamed at him, completely losing the poise and restraint I prided myself on. ‘I stood on that cliff edge and poured my entire soul out to you. Things I’ve never told anyone! I shared my baby brother’s last moments with you – moments I keep locked in my heart because they’re too precious to share with just anyone, but I thought you were different. I thought you were the one, Lorcan. And you let me believe it. But you’re not, are you? You’re just another chancer. You didn’t deserve to hear those memories and you sure as hell don’t deserve me!’ With that, I shoved him out of the way of the car door, got in and floored the pedal, joining the road towards the airport without looking back.
