Page 50 of Just Do It
I paused momentarily in my work, surprised by the question.
‘Umm, no, not really. Why do you ask?’
‘I just wondered. I know you were together for a while and then he got the lead in that dig…’
I looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. She slid off the desk and made a point of peering at some old photographs on the wall, her back now to me. ‘Everyone knows you have a huge amount of expertise in ancient Egypt. I didn’t know if he’d approached you to be on the team.’
‘I see.’ I didn’t really but then again I also knew that it didn’t matter what kind of workplace you were in, gossip would always be there. Academic circles were no different. ‘No. He hasn’t.’
‘Oh. Right.’
‘This is fine,’ I said, handing back the document. ‘Thanks.’
Bella took it and turned to leave. As she got to the door, she paused. ‘You know we all think you should have been given that dig.’
I gave a brief smile. ‘Thanks, Bella.’
Obviously I did too, but had I been chosen, it was highly unlikely that I’d have got as ravingly drunk as I had that night so that none of the events that had followed during the course of the evening would have happened. And although part of me was still steaming from being passed over, there was, much to my surprise, another part prodding at me that perhaps, just perhaps, I wasn’t meant to get that role. Perhaps I was meant to go out, get drunk, have my first (and likely last) ever one night stand and meet a man who, in any other circumstances, I wouldn’t have considered. Not because there was anything wrong with him – far from it! But because he wasn’t an academic. I’d gone through university and my career only ever taking an interest in men from that small pond. It had seemed the natural way. We would have things in common, plenty to talk about and understand each other’s careers and the pressures involved. And maybe deep down there was another reason that I didn’t like to think about. The possibility that anyone outside that circle wouldn’t be interested in me. That I’d be back to being the swot, the boring one, the one that didn’t get invited to parties because they ‘didn’t think I’d be interested’. But one drunken night when I’d thrown all my caution to the wind and champagne, things had changed for the better. I was having my eyes opened to new things. Colette had done her best but she’d always known that I had my comfort zone and hadn’t wanted toupset me by pushing me out of it. But Finn hadn’t been aware of the barriers, limitations and rules I’d set for myself. He’d just walked in and begun turning everything I thought I knew about myself upside down. And I loved it.
10
‘You look beautiful,’ Finn said, his eyes roving over me as he bent to kiss my neck while I turned to lock my front door. ‘And smell just as good.’
‘It’s a new perfume. Do you like it?’
‘Very much so,’ he replied.
‘Good,’ I grinned as his lips left my neck and closed in on mine.
After my epiphany in the office, I’d stopped at Boots on the way home on a whim to buy myself a bottle of expensive, luxury perfume. Colette didn’t even go to the corner shop without a squirt of Chanel No.5 but I’d always made do with a can of Impulse. She’d tried many times over the years to convert me. To explain that it’s not just about smelling nice. It’s the treat. The self care. The ‘I’m not going anywhere and I’m still going to wear expensive perfume because I can’. I’d never been convinced.
But then the moment I sprayed the perfume on my pulse points this evening, I got it. Colette had been right. I wasn’t doing this for Finn. I knew myself well enough for that. But it gave me a boost.
‘How did the meeting go?’ I asked when Finn slid behind the wheel, having opened the door for me and snuck another kiss before closing it.
‘Good, thanks. It could be a real opportunity but it’s early days yet so I’m not going to focus on it too much.’
‘I get that.’ I’d spent months focusing on the possibility of finally getting to lead a dig and look where that had ended. ‘I’m glad it went well for you though.’
‘Thanks,’ he said, glancing momentarily across before focusing back on the slow traffic in front of us. Was it me, or had there been a shadow in his eyes when he’d turned.
‘Is everything alright?’
‘Yep.’ He turned briefly again, this time his beautiful smile at full wattage. ‘How was your afternoon?’
‘OK. Nothing extraordinary.’
‘No mummies rising from the dead and reincarnating themselves by sucking the life out of hapless museum staff?’
I shook my head. ‘I can’t believe that’s your favourite film.’
‘The Mummy? It’s brilliant. And don’t you think it’s kind of serendipitous? You working with them and me loving the film.’
‘There’s really not a lot to correlate with what’s in that film and what I do for a living.’
‘Did you watch it yet?’
I shook my head. ‘Not yet.’
