Page 57 of Just Do It
Finn swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. ‘Right. Well, I don’t think anyone thinks that in the slightest, but I’m not stupid. I do understand why you might have concerns that women can still be judged, or held to different standards andsomething tells me the academic world probably isn’t the most advanced when it comes to sexual equality.’
‘Depends who you speak to. I’m lucky to have Inis as my boss but… I guess the decision by the board to give the lead position to someone else – particularly Friedrich, is still stinging more than I thought.’
‘I get that. And I’m sorry if anything I’ve done has made things difficult for you.’
I shook my head, my hair slowly plastering itself to my head. I needed to get this misunderstanding with Finn sorted. All my life I’d been led by my head. Made the sensible decision. Until the night I’d met Finn.
That night I’d followed my heart. Admittedly that heart was pumping blood heavily diluted by alcohol but even so. For once, I hadn’t taken the prudent path. And although I’d regretted it the next morning (God knew I hadn’t regretted a single second that night), that feeling of regret hadn’t lasted long. And then I’d done it again. I’d said yes to going out with Finn. Even though the sensible, steady part of me was kicking and screaming that this wasn’t the right decision, the other part of me had told it to sit down and shut up and stunned, it had obeyed. The result was that I’d been enjoying myself more than I had in years.
My life had begun to expand outside my career. Colette had teased that I had a glow about me. I’d laughed it off but maybe she was right. Looking at Finn now, I realised how it had seemed from his perspective. He’d done his best to understand but trying to shove him furtively out of the restaurant tonight had been a step too far. Right now, both my head and my heart were telling me that there was every chance I had messed up the best thing that had happened to me in years.
‘Night, Elizabeth.’ Finn bent and kissed my cheek and I knew for sure. What I didn’t know was how to fix it.
‘Please don’t leave, Finn.’
He turned back to face me. It was hard to see his expression now, his face in shadow. ‘I think it’s best.’ He reached for my hand and held it for a moment. ‘Go inside now. You’re soaked.’
‘I don’t care.’
‘But I do.’
‘Do you?’
Finn faced me, shifting as he did so. Now I could see his expression and it was incredulous. ‘You really don’t know me at all if you think I can switch that off after one evening, Elizabeth.’
‘I don’t want you to switch it off. I want to fix this.’ I swallowed but the lump in my throat refused to shift. ‘But that depends on you. If that’s something you want too.’
Finn let out an audible sigh.
‘Elizabeth…’ Finn shook his head and I felt my stomach drop and steady, sensible Lizzie was shoved unceremoniously out of the way by the woman who had for once thrown caution to the wind and found a glimpse of happiness not only when she wasn’t looking for it, but without a clue that she was even missing it. But now I’d had a taste. The door was open and I was terrified it was going to shut and I’d be forever looking through the glass at that sliver of delight I’d had the chance at and thrown away by worrying too much what other people thought.
‘Finn, I—’ I didn’t get to finish the sentence because he’d placed his hands either side of my face, his gaze locked on mine, intense and serious.
‘I’ve wanted this, you, since I first met you. You’re completely different from anyone I’ve ever met and Ifeelcompletely differently about you from anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t do this. I don’t do one night stands and fall in love there and then. I don’t get hurt because I start thinking I’m not enough for that woman—’
‘You are! You’re more than—’
Finn’s lips were on mine and I wriggled my arms free to wrap them around his neck, pulling him as close as I could. His words were flying about in my head but I’d deal with those in a moment. Right now I just needed to know that I hadn’t lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. Slowly the kiss broke apart.
‘Enough.’ I smiled, finishing the sentence I’d begun.
‘Sorry. I couldn’t wait.’
‘I’m not complaining.’
‘Always good to hear.’ He chuckled and I bumped against him. ‘Finn?’
‘Yes?’
‘Did you say… that… umm…’
‘I love you? Yes. Are you freaked out?’ We’d both squeezed under the tiny porch of my front door now although it was more for aesthetics than function.
I gave the tiniest head shake. ‘No. I’m not.’
‘Good. I hadn’t intended for that to come out just yet but I got carried away.’
I pushed myself up on to my toes and kissed him. ‘I’m so glad you did,’ I whispered. ‘Now will you come in?’
