Page 63 of Just Do It
‘No!’ she replied, the word rushing out quicker, and louder, than either of us expected. Finn looked up (or woke up!) and Bella hastily turned so that her back was towards him a little more. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt it like that.’
I smiled. ‘That’s OK. I’m just glad to hear it. I’d hate to think that you’d been bored all this time and never said anything.’
Bella let out a sigh. ‘No. Not at all. I love it! Actually, I’m beginning to think I’ve made a huge mistake.’ Her eyes filled as she pulled her sleeves down over her hands, wiping her eyes with her jumper. She looked up. ‘I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you. And I’m not just saying that to try and get you to do me a good reference. I don’t blame you if you don’t.’
‘Personal life and work are two different things, Bella.’
‘That depends, I guess,’ she said. Her eyebrows flicked up briefly, before her head snapped up. ‘Oh God. I didn’t mean anything by that. I mean, I did, but not about you and Finn. Honest.’
‘Is there anything else you want to talk about?’ It was obvious something was on her mind and, whatever happened, Bella would still be working with us for some time yet. I wanted to know about any problems and attempt to fix them, if I could.
She shook her head, her nail once more in her mouth. ‘Not really. I mean…’ Bella looked up, her face a pure picture of misery.
‘Bella. Just tell me,’ I said, softly.
‘I slept with Friedrich.’ Her words poured out in a hurry, racing to beat the outburst of tears that followed immediately afterwards. With perfect timing, Finn’s meeting wrapped up and he removed his headphones just as Bella blurted her confession. The young woman’s hands were currently over her eyes so she missed the surprised look Finn sent my way.
‘You OK?’ he mouthed.
I returned a faint smile and small nod, a rush of warmth flooding through me at his concern before I turned back to face my colleague as she removed her hands from her eyes, misery showing there. I handed over a box of tissues I kept in my drawer to save her jumper any more soaking.
‘Thanks. I hadn’t planned to. It kind of just happened.’
Like I’d told Finn, my ex could be quite charming when he wanted to be.
‘I was just so excited about the dig position which now doesn’t even seem like it’s definitely going to happen and the possibility of a move up in my career.’ She swallowed. ‘I want to ask you something but it feels so weird.’
‘OK.’
‘But you probably know him better than anyone else.’
I waited and she let out another wretched sigh as she started on another nail.
‘Do you think he offered me the position just to get me into bed?’
She was right. It was a bit weird. But only because I’d never been confided in like this before. I’d always kept myself to myself, even as a child. Colette confided in me but that was different and she knew that if anyone could keep a confidence, it was me. I considered my reply. I could go for tact, or honesty. In the end, I aimed for something that, hopefully, encompassed both.
‘The truth is, Bella, I don’t know.’
The tears made a reappearance and I put my hand across the desk towards her. ‘But.’ I had to raise my voice to be heard above the sobs. Her wet eyes met mine. ‘But,’ I repeated. ‘The truth is that you will be a great asset to that, or any other dig team. You’re knowledgeable, bright and quick to learn.’
She gave a sniff and took another tissue. ‘I’ve certainly learned from this.’ Her tone was gloomy but there was a hint of light back in her eyes now.
‘I will, of course, write you a reference. Nothing that’s happened will make any difference to what I put in it.’
‘Lizzie, I’m so sorry.’ She glanced over towards Finn but he’d immediately put his headphones back on and was tapping away at the keyboard, concentration fixed on the screen. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t usually drink that much.’ She gave an empty laugh. ‘There have been quite a few lessons from that night actually.’
‘We all do things we regret, Bella.’ I cleared my throat. ‘Would you like me to speak to Inis about the situation? I know the position hasn’t yet been advertised.’ I looked towards my in-tray. It was the only way I remembered to get things done. I was still a paper girl at heart. Or papyrus girl as my father liked totease. The request to begin a search for Bella’s replacement was currently sitting in the pile.
Bella’s gaze flicked up and locked on to mine. ‘Really?’
‘If that’s what you want, yes. But you, and we, have to be sure that is definitely the path you want to take.’
Bella opened her mouth to reply but I continued. ‘Why don’t you sleep on it and come and see me again tomorrow.’
‘OK. Thank you so much, Lizzie. I’m so sorry again. I just—’
I waved the rest of it away. ‘We’ve moved on now. Right?’
