Page 88 of Never Too Late
‘I love you, Mum. I know you think I’m being a bitch and I’m sure Tomas hates me?—’
I stopped her. ‘No, Sash. He doesn’t. Not at all. He was actually talking about how much he enjoyed your discussion at the gallery, and completely understands why you’ve taken a dislike to him. In fact, he said the same thing to me about you earlier.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘That you hate him.’
She remained silent for a few moments. ‘I don’t hate him. I just don’t trust him.’
‘I know but, as much as I appreciate you wanting to look out for me, I’m old enough to make my own decisions and I’m choosing to allow Tomas back into my life. Right now, we’re just friends reconnecting and seeing where it leads.’
She gave a sniff. ‘It’s obvious he wants more than friends.’
‘Possibly,’ I replied in another new move. Ordinarily, I’d have eschewed the idea that anyone could be interested but as more glimpses of the old me peeked through the curtain of years past, I felt comfortable acknowledging the possibility that was true. ‘And perhaps I do too.’ That part I was a little more unsure about but I wasn’t prepared to close myself off to the idea, no matter how much my daughter disapproved. ‘Sasha. I know this is all a bit strange for you. Believe me, you’re not the only one.’
‘I’m just worried about you, Mum. You don’t know what men can be like.’
The laugh escaped from my throat. ‘I’m well aware I’ve been out of the dating loop for quite some time, but I’m not entirely naïve.’
She sighed, tilted her head and for a moment, I thought she might pat me! ‘Things have changed since you were young… er.’ The correction was hurriedly added as my eyebrows rose towards my hairline.
‘I’m sure they have but it wasn’t all chaperones and virginal wedding days. I’m not that old!’ Laughter wound its way through the words.
‘I know that. I’m just saying.’
‘What are you saying, Sash?’ I asked her, my tone gentle.
‘I just… don’t you think it’s a bit soon? After splitting up with Dad?’ She seemed to have forgotten that her father had jumped into a relationship within weeks of us separating. Or maybe she hadn’t…
‘Doyouthink it’s too soon?’
She gave a shrug.
‘You face tells me you do.’
‘As you said, it’s not up to me.’
‘No, it’s not. And you might think I don’t value your opinion, but I do.’
‘I just… it feels weird.’
‘I know. And in your position, I’m sure I’d have felt the same.’ My parents had both passed away early within a short period of time and Sash couldn’t remember them. Hugh had broken contact with his own family when they’d accused me of getting pregnant to ‘catch’ him. I’d done my best to reconcile them but Hugh had no interest. They’d apparently never been close anyway and whatever choice he made, they always felt there was a better one he could have opted for.
When Sasha was born, I’d encouraged him to try again, hoping a new, beautiful baby might help thaw the ice. Their reply in a plain card gave no congratulatory wishes and merely advised that they would ‘not be changing the will’. Needless to say, neither of us bothered again. I looked at the young woman sitting beside me now and thought again on how much they had missed out on. I only felt sorry that she had never experienced the kind of grandparental love I’d want for her.
‘I’m not rushing into anything, love. Your dad and I hadn’t been in love for a long time. That’s why I wasn’t surprised, or hurt, when he found someone new so quickly. Life is short. If you find someone you enjoy spending time with, someone who makes you laugh and smile and who brings you joy, and your heart says, “Let’s try”, then why not?’
‘It didn’t say that about Ashok though, did it?’
I shook my head. ‘No, it didn’t. Not for me.’
‘I wish it had.’
‘I know you do, darling. But it wasn’t meant to be. And if I had, then he and Gabby wouldn’t have found each other.’
Her smooth brow wrinkled momentarily – and then returned to perfectly smooth.Make the most of that!
‘I didn’t think you believed in all that fate stuff, Mum.’
