Page 36 of Snapped
Chapter 24 | Your Love Is My Strength
The smell of frankincense and myrrh tickled his nostrils, pulling Rian from a deep, peaceful sleep. Blinking a couple of times, he stared up at the ceiling in his and Cirian’s bedroom.
Was it all just a bad dream?he thought—well, more like prayed.
A full bladder had him attempting to sit up. Pain radiating from the tips of his toes to the longest hair on his head made him cringe. “Fuuuck. Definitely not a dream.” Just saying the words through gritted teeth pulled all the air from his lungs.
Then Cirian was right there. “My Love, don’t move.”
Breathing through the pain wracking his bones, Rian turned his head and couldn’t stop the tears from falling when his eyes landed on familiar, loving blue ones. “Cirian, you’re here.”
The love he saw in Cirian’s eyes calmed him. “Of course I’m here, Mo Ghrá.”
Rian laughed, though it pained him, reaching a shaking hand up to cup Cirian’s cheek. “My Love, God, I thought for sure I’d die down there.” And then it all came rushing back. Being taken from the greenhouse, dragged to the bunker and beaten to the point he thought his head might explode. And then, oh God, how could he tell his husband what his brother had done to him? Rian curled into a ball and held on to Cirian, the sobs wracking his body with a renewed sense of pain, but he couldn’t let go of the man he loved.
“Rian, My Love, please, what is it? You’re safe now, and he can never hurt you or anyone else ever again,” Cirian whispered harshly.
Lifting his head, Rian asked. “What do you mean?”
Cirian leaned closer and kissed him, the confusion clear in Rian’s eyes when Cirian didn’t respond. “He’s dead, Rian.”
Elated, Rian tried to sit up only to be reminded he’d been beaten to a pulp and should probably lie still for a while. Cirian helped him roll onto his back, grabbing a couple of extra pillows and tucking them under Rian’s head so he could sit slightly upright. He could tell immediately something was troubling Cirian by the way he averted his eyes.
“Cirian, what aren’t you telling me?” He was almost afraid to ask. Did he already know the truth of it all, what Cillian had taken from Rian?
Still not meeting Rian’s gaze, Cirian picked at the hem of the blanket they sat on. “I…I’m supposed to protect you Rian, and I failed. What he did to you…is…it’s my fault. I failed you.” The last few words were barely more than a whisper.
Rian reached for him, wincing when his body protested. Cirian moved closer, begging Rian to stay still. “This is not your fault, darling. You’ve always protected me, us, our family. How were we to know he would find a way into our home?” Rian attempted to reassure him. They lay there for a while, holding on to each other until the pressure on Rian’s bladder reminded him it was full. Cirian helped him get to the bathroom, then helped him back to the bed once he’d finished. He’d barely settled into the stack of pillows when there was a soft knock at the door.
“Come,” Cirian called out.
The door opened and Raven stepped into the room holding a sleeping bundle in his arms. “Hey, how are you feeling?”
Rian chuckled. “Like I’ve been run through.”
Cirian took his grandson and climbed onto the bed beside Rian, the two of them making googly eyes while Raven examined Rian again for anything he might have missed while Rian was still unconscious. When little Ian started fussing, Cirian offered to take him back to his mother while the two men talked more. As soon as they were alone, Raven started digging. “How are you Rian, really?”
How did he respond to that? Could he keep what had happened down there in the darkness a secret and never reveal the truth to another living soul? Cillian was dead, and they were alone when it happened, so there was no one to expose Rian at any time in the future. Raven took Rian’s hands in his and when he looked up, meeting Raven’s misty gaze, his heart sank. Raven already knew. “How did you know?” Rian croaked.
“I’m trained as a physician Rian; you know this. The bruising and tearing…well, down there, tells me it was forced. And I really don’t think you and Cirian practice BDSM. So that only leaves…” Raven let the sentence trail off. In any case, the words didn’t need to be spoken.
Raven stood and walked around to the foot of the bed. “Have you told Cirian yet?”
“Told me what?” Raven and Rian both jumped, which made Rian also cry out in pain. Cirian flew across the room, climbing onto the bed with as little motion as possible. He fussed and fretted over Rian, adding another pillow to the stack.
When their eyes met, Raven smiled weakly. “I’ll get some fresh herbs from the garden at first light and mix a tea for you. Fresh herbs should help with the pain more so than the ones in the tea you’re drinking now. Get some rest.” With all Cirian’s focus on Rian, Raven mouthed the wordsI’m sorry,then ducked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Faking a yawn, Rian prayed Cirian would forget what Raven said as he was walking into the room. “I’m tired.”
The look they shared spoke volumes. His husband was far too astute to allow anything to slip past him. “What did Raven mean, Rian? What haven’t you told me?”
More than anything, Rian wanted to fade into the mattress and never be heard from again. If that’s what it took to avoid this conversation, he was all for it. The concern and trepidation he saw in his husband’s eyes shattered him. Cirian had been a part of Rian’s life as far back as he could remember. In all those years, he’d never seen the look directed at him. Ever. The knowledge of how irrevocably he was about to change their lives weighed so heavy on Rian, he broke down.
The pain that wracked his body when Cirian pulled him into his arms couldn’t rival the pain he felt in his heart. “Rian, My Love, what is it? You can tell me anything, Mo Ghrá; don’t you know that?”
Inhaling deeply, Rian allowed himself a few moments to revel in the thick, musky, clean aroma that was his husband. “Not this,” he muttered.
“Rian, please, you’re scaring me. Do you think yourself less a man because of what that monster did to ya?” Rian nodded, his grip around Cirian’s waist tightening. “You’re still a man to me, Rian, the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man I’ll ever need.”
