Page 38 of Snapped
Chapter 25 | Let Me Help You
A knock at the door woke Cirian in the morning. Thankfully, he was able to slide out of the bed without disturbing Rian and made it to the door before whoever was there knocked again. If they woke Rian, there would be hell to pay. Tying his robe, Cirian swung the door open to find a very irate Asian man glaring at him. Cirian could tell that Li was livid, but he seemed to know he should keep quiet. Leaning into the room, he saw Rian was still asleep, so he took a step back and waved Cirian out into the hall.
No sooner than the door closed, Li pounced. “Please explain to me why I had to hear my oldest friend had been kidnapped and beaten by a madman from one of the goddamn maids!”
With narrowed eyes, Cirian glared at him. “I’d thank you to remember where you are and just who you’re talking to, Li.”
“Why you…” Li huffed.
“Li, I think it’s best if you remain calm. Allow Cirian a moment to at least answer your question.” Sam, Li’s husband placed a firm hand on his shoulder, trying to placate him. “Cirian, apologies for waking you so early, but when Li overheard the staff in the kitchen, well, I couldn’t keep him away. So, tell us, please, how is Rian?”
As badly as Cirian needed to vent, let go of all the anger and venom flowing through his bloodstream after the previous night, he knew, deep down, Li only cared for Rian and wanted to know for himself that everything was okay. Running his fingers through his hair, Cirian sighed. “I know Li, I know. And I too am sorry for snapping, I’m just…pissed off and exhausted and…”
“Cirian, love, where are you?” Rian’s voice could be heard faintly through the closed bedroom door. Cirian rushed into the room, conversation with Li and Sam forgotten.
“I’m here; what’s wrong?” Cirian was by his side in a matter of seconds.
“I just need help getting to the bathroom—oh, Li.” Rian paled when he saw his friend and Sam standing in the doorway to his room.
The pained expression on Li’s face sent a new wave of panic rushing through Rian like ice water. “Oh God, Rian, what did that bastard do to you?”
“Not now, Li,” Cirian barked.
Before Li could comment, Sam’s hand was on his shoulder again. “Sweetheart, you’ve seen Rian, and you see he’s still quite tired. Let’s go and come back later.”
“But—” Li stepped farther into the room, but Sam pulled him back quickly.
“No buts, we need to respect Cirian and Rian’s privacy, Li.” Sam watched his husband until he acknowledged him with a nod of his head. “Good. Cirian, would you please send for us when Rian is up to visitors?”
“Yes, yes, of course,” Cirian stated flatly, more worried about helping Rian stand than holding court with Li and Sam. Both men forgotten, Cirian helped Rian into the bathroom, and then he had a thought. “Rian love, how about a nice, warm bath?” Seeing the uncertainty in his husband’s eyes wrecked Cirian. He knew Rian was struggling to cope with what Cillian had done to him—the beating which had caused a concussion as well as the rape were, understandably, weighing heavily on Rian’s psyche.
Kneeling, he took one of Rian’s hands in his, reaching up to cup his cheek with the other. He stared into the crisp beautiful blue eyes he loved more than anything and made a promise to God to do whatever it took to pull the pain and sadness out of those eyes. “I love you Rian, more than life itself. There is nothing anyone could ever do to change that; do ya hear me? Let me help ya Ri; let’s help each other through this, okay? I need you to let me help.”
Cirian knew how desperate and weak he sounded, but fuck it all, he didn’t care. Right now, the only thing that mattered was the man in front of him. The man he sent off on a journey around the world when he was sixteen, awkward and gangly, only to return to Cirian standing tall, strong, and confident. Seeing Rian so despondent and shaken gutted Cirian, and he was bound and determined to help his husband find his way back to the strength and confidence he knew lay buried underneath a mountain of pain and shame.
Rian laughed softly as his eyes grew misty. Leaning forward, he kissed Cirian. “I know love, I need you too. Now why don’t you get the water started so it can warm up, then help me out of these pajamas?”
***
The warmth of the water soothed Rian’s aching muscles; the scent of eucalyptus and lavender from the oils Cirian had put in the water soothed his senses. Calmer than he’d felt in days, Rian let it all go and allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of being safe in his husband’s arms. With his head on Cirian’s chest, those strong arms wrapped around him, they both enjoyed the quiet and peace, holding one another. He knew it wouldn’t be easy—the feeling of tranquility would likely spiral down the pipes along with the water when they drained the tub. But for now, the silence was calming.
The fact that he and Cirian hadn’t taken the time to bathe together in years made it so much easier to enjoy. Reading Rian’s thoughts, as usual, Cirian said just that. “We should do this more often; it’s very relaxing. Who knew?” When Rian laughed, it didn’t send searing pain shooting through every limb in his body. He was getting better already and would continue to, one day at a time.
Still, they had to tell Maya, Mia, and the twins everything. While he wished they didn’t have to burden them with the knowledge of all that happened down there, that he could leave things that took place in the dark, in the dark. Honesty was needed for Rian, Cirian and their family to move forward. Cillian’s madness had been born of a lie that Marcus told the day of his birth. Rian refused to open the door to any such terrorism within his family with a lie by omission.
“What are you thinking on so hard, love?” Cirian asked, dipping a rag into the water then squeezing it out and letting the water drip onto Rian’s chest.
How did he put his feelings into words? “How do you think they’ll take it, Aiya and Aiyan? I mean, I’m their father. I’m supposed to keep the bogey man away, not let him in…not let him…” Rian couldn’t finish the sentence, refused to. He’d been raped. There, he’d thought it. He’d be damned if he’d ever say the fucking word out loud.
“Listen love, we don’t have to tell them every detail of what happened. But I think you were right last night—a brief synopsis is in order. I think if we do not and they find out some other way, it’d hurt them worse.” Cirian kissed his shoulder, running his hand down Rian’s arm to twine their fingers together. Lifting their joined hands, Cirian kissed his palm before laying their hands over Rian’s heart. “This, right here, what’s inside you Ri, a heart that is pure and strong. That is what our children will see when they look at ya. Not the remnants of a crazy man’s descent into madness.”
It was painful, difficult, and downright sloppy. But Rian managed to get turned around so he could look into his husband’s eyes. “God, how I love you.”
Eventually, harsh, cold reality sucked all the warmth from the water, and Cirian stood, drying off before helping Rian out of the tub. Clean, dry, and feeling better than he had in days, Rian told Cirian to gather their family.
“Are you sure you want to do this now, Ri? I thought you wanted to wait until after the wedding.” Cirian sat beside him on the bed, reaching up and cupping Rian’s cheek in his hand.
Nodding, Rian covered Cirian’s hand with his, lowering their joined fingers to his lap. “I’ve had more time to process everything and I think it’s better we tell them now. I want to move forward, My Love, and the only way I can do that is to face it. Waiting to tell them, prolonging it…I need to tell them so I don’t have to talk about it again if I don’t want to. Does that make sense?”
The look of love and admiration in Cirian’s eyes grounded him, gave Rian the strength he so desperately needed. Together, they could face any demons in their path. They shared another kiss and then it was time to face their family.
