Page 16 of Gay for Pay
“No, no, I’m not the bloodsucker here—that would be Victor,” Chris quipped, trying to ignore the man that was attempting to pry his way between him and the coffeepot.
“Move your ass so I can get a cup.” Linc attempted to shove him out of the way.
Chris shook his head and stood rooted in place until Linc grabbed him by his sides and started tickling him. He jumped back, shouting loud enough to wake the dead. “Cut that shit out!”
Linc stood on his tiptoes, reaching for a mug from the cabinet, and it took every ounce of willpower Chris possessed to not lean closer and inhale the sweet strawberry scent of the shampoo Linc used. “Fine, I’ll go. But for the record, I’m agreeing under duress,” he muttered, shuffling his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to brush his goddamn teeth and change.
***
They walked down to the boat dock and around the path that circled the lake. Conversation with Linc had always come easy; they had so many things in common…sports, politics, employment. The third time Linc’s phone beeped and was sent to voice mail, Chris asked him about it. “It’s my ex. The cheating bastard says he’s learned the error of his ways and he loves me, wants me to come home. Well, fuck him.” Linc bit off the last couple of words with a snarl.
“Sorry I asked.” Chris chuckled as he said it, desperately wanting the smile in Linc’s eyes to return.
He looked over at Chris, brow creased, lips drawn together in a thin line. “No, it’s okay. It just pisses me off. I mean, he cheated on me, more than once, tried to blame it on my ‘job.’” Linc growling and doing finger quotes was actually, kind of adorable.
“Because we have the three-day rule before we shoot a scene. He would want to go out to clubs, drinking and dancing, and I can’t do that shit if I can’t get off, you know.” Chris assumed Linc’s question was rhetorical. “Then he would bang some random guy in the bathrooms, or the alley behind the club, in his car. He always said it didn’t mean anything. ‘Oh, baby you know I only love you.’ I guess he thought that made it better. Well, it didn’t! And if I got pissed or called him out on it, he would throw my job in my face, yell at me, and say, ‘Well, you fuck guys and let them fuck you for a living. What difference is there?’ Really, jackass,really?”
Linc was getting madder by the minute, walking faster with heavy footsteps. Chris was about four inches taller than Linc, had pretty long legs, andhewas having to follow at a fast pace just to keep up. He didn’t talk, just listened. He had the feeling that Linc needed to get it all off his chest, so Chris let him yell at the trees as they passed them. Hell, he probably would have let Linc punch him if that would make it easier.Oh, my, God.Nowthatwas a revelation.
“The final straw was when I came home to find him with his dick buried in—get this—Kory’s ass.” Linc spun around, chest heaving. Between his anger and the sprint they’d just done through Victor’s backyard, the man was winded.
“Wait, Kory? Asshole All Cocks Kory?” Chris wanted to make sure he heard him right.
“Yup,” Linc nodded.
“Oh man, that’s fucked up.” Chris had the sudden urge to walk up to the house, go find Kory and slap the piss out of him.
“Tell me about it!” A flock of birds descended from the limbs of the large beech tree beside them, their angry caws warring for dominance over Linc’s loud, frustrated tirade. “I mean who does that, screws one of his boyfriend’s coworkers in the apartment he shares with said boyfriend?”
“So that’s why you don’t like the guy? And here I thought it was his charming personality.” Chris was trying to lighten the mood, but he wasn’t certain it’d worked since Linc didn’t respond. He did, however, calm down.
Shoulders sagging, Linc slowed his pace. It made Chris’s heart ache to see him so sad, made Chris want to beat the shit out of Kory and the ex that much more. He stopped, looking over his shoulder to see how far out they were; there was nothing but trees and water surrounding them.
They really should go back. “Hey.” Chris kept walking, turning around a little too late to stop from running right into Linc.
Linc reached up and grabbed Chris by the arms, his touch awakening something inside Chris. Jesus, fuck, he couldn’t even think about that right now. “Shit, sorry,” Chris smiled awkwardly, trying to pull away but Linc held him in place, their bodies just inches apart.
Tell him to let go. Then turn around and walk away.That would be the rational thing to do, wouldn’t it? Chris opened his mouth to tell Linc to release him, but he couldn’t form the words. “No, no,” Chris shook his head, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat, his saliva tasted like quicksand. When Linc’s tongue darted out, running over his bottom lip, Chris inhaled a sharp breath and tried to break free of Linc’s hold once more, to no avail. If anything, Linc’s grip tightened. “Can I kiss you?” Linc whispered, his body already moving closer to Chris, no space between them anymore.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Walk away, Chris. Turn the fuck around and walk the fuck away!Fucking hell, he couldn’t—he wanted Linc to kiss him, and the feeling was both exhilarating and terrifying. Closing his eyes, he nodded, his head barely tipping before Linc was on him. Linc’s lips were warm, wet, and they seemed to fit perfectly against his. When Linc pulled away, there was a low moan, and Chris’s knees almost gave out when he realized the sound came from him.
His mind raced; he couldn’t stop the whirlwind of emotions long enough to concentrate on one cohesive thought. Chris wanted so much right then, everything, he wanted every-fucking-thing. Mostly he just wanted Linc’s lips on his…but he wanted to turn and run away and never look back as well. This was what had kept him up most of the night. His subconscious, memories of Amanda and the thought of betraying her with anyone else. It no longer mattered to Chris that the person he was thinking of being with was another man.
“Oh God, more,” Something primal took over within him. Chris wrapped his arms around Linc’s neck, running his fingers through the coarse brown hair, jerking Linc’s head back so he could run his tongue over the vein in his neck, over his rigid jawline to his mouth. Licking, biting, and sucking Linc’s lips, Chris kissed him like he’d never kissed anyone before, with promise and need.
Linc reciprocated, his thick, corded arms wrapping around Chris’s waist, jerking him closer, fingers digging into his hips. Chris could count the number of lovers he’d had in his short life on both hands, but not a damn one of them had ever kissed him the way Linc was kissing him. Not even Amanda.Amanda.Her face, almost unrecognizable after the wreck, slammed into Chris’s chest like a train, and he jerked away. “What’s wrong?” Linc asked, moving toward him, but Chris started walking backward, retreating.
“Nothing, it’s not you, I just…I just can’t.” He turned and ran as fast as he could, all the way to the house, up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door and locking it.
Tears filled his eyes, overflowing, hot and unwanted. Banging his head against the door, he slid down until he sat on his ass, pulling at the plush carpet with his fingers. So much pain and anguish had been building for damn near six years, he couldn’t keep any of it bottled up one second longer. Everything spewed out of him—like a volcano, it erupted. He screamed, shouted, cursed, and cried until his throat was raw. Chris had never truly mourned the loss of Amanda, the complete obliteration of her life by his own hands. In between ragged gulps of air, he could hear Linc on the other side of the door, arguing with Victor.
“Fuck that shit, Vic. He’s in pain.” Linc sounded like a wounded animal. But Chris didn’t have the strength in him to fix it, not yet.
“I am knowing that, Lincoln, but we are giving him some time before…before we push.”
Why? Why did these people have to be so kind? Didn’t they know he didn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy, that he wasn’t worthy of their love or devotion? “Chris.” Linc sounded frail and weak, and it killed Chris that he was the cause. “Chris, I hope you can hear me. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here if, no,whenyou need me.”
Weak and fatigued, he crawled over to the small twin-sized bed on his hands and knees, climbing in and curling inward, pulling his legs up to his chest, far too exhausted to even think about…anything.
