Page 81 of The Satyr's Guilt
“Those are in the basement. I’ll take youbelow later.”
“Seriously. Why a farmhouse?”
Ram took a big gulp of wine, struggling withhow much he wanted to reveal.Fuck it.Why keep secrets?“Long story. Here’s the short version. Jonquil’s mother was human.When we screwed around, I was careless with my prolific satyrswimmers. She got pregnant but died in childbirth. I broughtJonquil to this farmhouse because I thought it was a good place toraise a kid.”
Denim fingered the rim of her wineglass.“I’m sorry.”
Ram waved off her concern. “Eight yearsago.”
“Did Jonquil’s mother know you were a satyrfrom a different realm?”
“Eventually, I told her about myself. I wasdoing my thing Earthside. Firebrands are required to go outsideScath to live now and then so we don’t become insulated.” Hepaused, chuckling. “I was a professional polo player. You maylaugh.”
Denim obliged him with a big grin. “I cansee you riding a horse and swinging a mallet.”
“She attended a match, we talked…” He tookanother sip before he put his glass down. “…and the rest ishistory. We never should have hooked up. Shit happens. Then youmove on. No pity. The stuff shrivels my balls.”
“Nonetheless, I’m sorry.”
His gaze drifted to the side. He nevertalked about Jonquil’s mother to anyone. Not even his parents.After her death, he returned to Scath with a baby in his arms and adon’t-fuck-with-me expression on his face which saidask noquestions.
“She deserved better. She was a sweetfemale, fragile, not independent or self-sufficient like you. Wewere going to be a family and bring our baby to Scath.”
“Everyone claims you hate humans. How canyou?”
“I don’t hate humans. I just have a poortrack record. Makes me a little Earther-shy.”
“Because of what happened to your daughter’smother? You blame yourself?”
“She wanted a home birth with a midwife.Sounded good. Being a satyr, I didn’t want to be any closer to anEarth hospital than necessary. So, I agreed. But there was aproblem. By the time I rushed her to the emergency room… Youknow.”
Ram sat silent, rubbing his thumb on hiswineglass.
“Be careful, satyr. I’m starting to likeyou.”
He wanted in Denim’s pants, though he wasn’tlooking for long-term. “Don’t. Satyrs aren’t good relationshiprisks. I’m worse than most. I fuck things up. I’m a great Firebrandto have on your six, but I’m bad at anything else. I killed her. Imight as well have stabbed her in the heart with one of my Scottishdirks.”
“Not the same, Ram. Women die in childbirth.It’s terrible, but it’s true.”
Ram swallowed the lump in his throat. “Shedepended on me to take care of her. It was my job. I didn’t. I lether down.”
“Look at Jonquil. You haven’t let herdown.”
“She’s still young.” His daughter was hisheart, and Gahya willing, he’d do a better job with her. He pouredall of his love into Jonquil. Outside her, he was the warrior. Theflirt. The horny satyr. Nothing more. He didn’t want anyone else todepend on him.
“She’s a terrific kid. Well, hardly a kid.She sounds so grown up sometimes. You are close, and she adoresyou.”
He deflected. “Because I’m adorable.”
“Incorrigible.”
When he looked at Denim, his breath caught.She was so damn beautiful. His heart did a fastthump, thump,thumpas he jockeyed her shoulders a little forward to loop hisarm around them. He pulled her close.
“There. Better. Yeah. Too grown up. Shethinks she has to manage my life. You know why she wanted thisdinner party, right?”
Denim’s chestnut hair was loose, falling inwaves over her breasts, tickling his arm. As she peeked at him,hanging on his every word, her eyes bore into his soul. If he hadone. He misplaced it when Jonquil’s mother died. But the human madehim feel as if it might still be there, buried deep, waiting to beclaimed. He wanted to take her into his arms, race for his room,and lay her across his bed. He’d hike her skirt to her waist andpull down her panties.
No. We can’t.
