Page 146 of Endgame
She isn’t a compromise either. Not someone to fill the emptiness in my heart.
Revenge or not, I would’ve ended up marrying her. Would’ve put babies in her stomach.
I would’ve given her the world, just because she’sAurora.
That doesn’t make me love my family any less. It simply means I have space to love all of them.
“You’re my wife. Isn’t that enough?”
The look in her eyes is wary. Of course it is. She’s used to hearing me use that title like a weapon.
No more of that.
No more space between us.
No more guilt keeping me from touching her.
I’ve spent the past week pulling back, convinced that loving her made me weak. That wanting her would dull the edge of my revenge. Most of all, I didn’t deserve her.
I’ve been wrong about it just like I’ve been wrong about everything.
I’m going to fix it like I should’ve a long time ago.
Years ago, apparently.
“Okay, you want to hear it? All of it? I care aboutyou. As Aurora, not just my wife, okay? Good enough for you?” I lean in, pressing my forehead to hers. Chest too hot. Too tight. “I fucking care. Deeply, Aurora. I shouldn’t. I tried not to. But I care. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone in years.”
“You do?” she whispers, doubt thick in her voice.
“Yes.” I inhale her. This moment.
Her grip on the lapels of my jacket is sure. Small, determined fingers that won’t let go.
Aurora feels safest with her monster. Me. “You care? About me?”
I don’t do love declarations.
Facts are easier. Cleaner. Safer.
“I missed you.” I search her gaze. She needs more from me, so I give it to her. “I was wrong.”
Her mouth rounds in the shape of an O.
“Yes, I missed you.” That’s one way to put it.
Denying myself Aurora has been a nightmare.
I’ve been lost without her.
The way she talks back, it hurts how much I’ve longed for that.
Days and hours have gone by, and I ached for her weight in my arms. Her lips on mine. I jerked off to the memories of her tight cunt and hot mouth around my cock, and it did nothing for me.
My hands belong here, tangled in her soft locks.
“I was wrong to keep you at arm’s length.” The feel of her palm on my jaw is warmth I don’t deserve. “You see, I couldn’t stand hurting you. But I couldn’t give you what you needed. Affection. Compassion. Kindness. I’ve been this one person for years. I had one goal, and it blinded me. I hurt you. I’m not a good man, Aurora. After what happened, when I finally pieced the broken parts of me back together, I wasn’t the same person I used to be…before.”
That’s as much as I can tell her right now. I love her, and fuck, I can’t say that either.
