Page 32 of Somewhere I'll Find You
“I don't know,” he muttered, not wanting to admit the truth.
A hopeless laugh escaped her as she admitted to herself that she didn't care. Suddenly nothing was as important as the need to be with him, to know all the intimate secrets that had been denied her so long.
Reading the look in her eyes, Damon pulled the dressing gown from her shoulders. The garment fell to the floor in a rustling heap. Julia didn't move as his absorbed gaze moved over her. She had never suspected that the sight of her body could affect him so powerfully, bringing a flush to his face and a tremor to his hands as he reached for her.
With the backs of his knuckles, he stroked the tender skin beneath her breasts and the fragile lines of her ribs, and then his palm swept over her abdomen. Her breath caught as she felt him touch the curls between her thighs, his fingers gently searching until she pulled away with a stammer and a shake of her head.
He followed instantly, his arms sliding around her back, and she heard the sound of his low voice in her thunder-filled ears. His mouth sought hers, and she opened to him, surrendering her hard-won control for the first time in her life. He took her to the bed, pushing her back against the cool green silk, and she pulled at the layers of linen and broadcloth that covered him.
“Julia,” he said, his voice a mere scratch of sound, “if you're going to stop me…for God's sake, do it now.”
Feverishly she pressed her lips to his jaw and throat. “I want to feel you,” she whispered. “I want to feel your skin against mine.”
Damon responded with a ragged breath and an obliging flurry of effort, stripping off his coat, cravat and shirt. As he reached for the opening of his trousers, her small hands pushed his aside. He forced himself to wait patiently, his desire flaring hotly as he felt the pluck and tug of her fingers on his clothing. She was gravely intent on the task as she slipped the heavy buttons of his trousers through their neatly stitched openings.
When the last button was freed, Damon sat on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes, trousers, and linens. There was silence behind him, and then he felt the moist brush of Julia's mouth at the top of his spine. He stiffened at the sensation, every muscle locking as a long chain of kisses followed the first, working from his neck to the middle of his back.
Her arms slid around his shoulders as she held him from behind, her naked breasts pressed against his naked back. A silken lock of her hair fell over his shoulder. She seemed like a curious mermaid discovering a man for the first time, her body drifting against his, her hands gentle on his skin. She touched the contours of his chest and paused to feel the heavy thud of his heartbeat against her palm. Venturing downward, her fingers grazed the tightly bunched muscles of his abdomen. Damon's eyes shut hard as he felt the timid clasp of her hand on the aching length of his staff. His shaking fingers came over hers, tightening her grip until the pleasure threatened to overwhelm him.
Turning, he pushed her flat on the bed, lowering his body over hers. Eagerly she pulled his head down, tangling her fingers in his hair as she kissed him. Filling his hands with her breasts, he covered the peaks with his mouth, his tongue bringing the aroused nipples to even tighter points.
Julia lifted against him, lost in the communication of their bodies. In the last few silent minutes she had become a stranger to herself, shamelessly yielding her body and soul to someone else's will. She wanted more, to bring herself even closer to him, to forget her own existence in the consuming tide of ecstasy.
His hands and lips moved skillfully over her body, spreading currents of sensation wherever they touched. His knee pushed between hers, and she felt his fingers between her thighs, discovering the hint of moisture amid the tiny springing curls. Her eyes flew open at the intimacy, and she flinched at the glow of light coming from the bedside lamp. She wanted to be hidden in the darkness.
“Please,” she said in a faltering voice, “the light—”
“No,” he muttered against her stomach. “I want to see you.”
Julia tried to protest, but the words were strangled in her throat as his head moved lower. She felt his mouth drift lower, lower, through the soft thatch of hair, licking deep to find the secrets beyond. His tongue was hot on her flesh, making her twist and groan as if in pain…but it wasn't pain she felt; it was a rapture too piercing to comprehend. Her hands descended to his hair, trying at first to push him away, then curving around his head in supplication. She was seized by an endless shudder of pleasure, her senses unraveling in a white-hot glow.
Damon lifted his head and slid his body over hers. Julia arched and sighed, letting him do whatever he wanted. She was far beyond virginal modesty now, pliant and open to his every desire. There was a heavy push between her thighs, a forewarning of pain. She bit her lip at the intrusion and wrapped her arms around his back, wanting him to take her with a primitive urgency that would startle her in later moments of reflection. But Damon paused and held back, staring at her with dawning incredulity.
“You're a virgin,” he whispered.
Julia's arms tightened around him, her small hands working at the small of his back, stroking and kneading in unconscious encouragement.
“Why?” seemed to be the only word he could manage.
Her eyes glittered as she looked up at him. “I never wanted anyone before you.”
Damon kissed her taut throat, her cheek, her trembling lips. It seemed that his entire being was filled with all the blind yearning he'd felt in his adult life. In a decisive motion he shoved forward forcefully enough to rend her innocence. She tensed in his arms, drawing a quick, shocked breath. Damon hated the pain he caused her, yet he discovered a fierce satisfaction in possessing her as no man ever had. She was impossibly tight, her sleek depths holding and wrapping him in intense heat. He pressed a slow rain of kisses on her face, mingling words of praise and desire as he tried to comfort her.
Gradually Julia began to relax as she adjusted to the unyielding invasion. He was gentle with her, his hands playing over her body in unhurried exploration. She quivered as she felt him slide deeper, thrusting in a slow rhythm that drew currents of delight through her body. Somehow the initial pain had been banished, replaced by the urge to lift high against him and take him even deeper inside. He complied with the wordless demand, driving straight and sure within her until she was caught in another surge of delight. She felt him grasp her hips, his fingers clenching over the rounded flesh, and he made a low, tormented sound as he found his own release. Shivering, Damon pressed hard against her until it seemed that their bodies had melded into one.
Julia was intensely drowsy for a long time afterward as she rested in the crook of his arm. Damon had extinguished the lamp, leaving them in peaceful darkness. She was halfway in a dream, her head filled with idle thoughts, her senses drinking in the warmth and texture of the man beside her.
She was no longer the figure of mystery that teased the public's curiosity, or an actress reciting well-rehearsed lines from a play…she had been cut adrift from the past that had bound her. Turning her head, she gazed at the hard-edged profile of the man beside her. Lord Savage, her husband. He would take over her life if she allowed it. He would keep her safe and sheltered, and inundate her with so much luxury that she would hardly mind being confined in a golden cage. But she would never let anyone own her. She had spent most of her life under her father's thumb, and that had been enough.
She would not lose herself in her husband's shadow as her mother had done. She would carefully guard the part of herself that she had struggled to nurture and preserve—and that meant any relationship with Damon was impossible.
Chapter 6
Damon awakened slowly, puzzled at finding himself in an unfamiliar bed. The elusive scent of a woman's perfume emanated from the pillow beside him. Still half-asleep, he pressed his face into the fragrant cream linen. Memories of the previous night came back to him, and he opened his eyes.
He was alone in Julia's bed.
Julia…she had never been more than a name to him, a shadow from the past, and suddenly she had become stunningly real. He saw the flecks of blood on the sheet, and he was instantly riveted. Wonderingly his fingers moved across the crimson marks. He hadn't considered the possibility that Julia might be innocent. He had never been with a virgin before, only mature women who were fully versed in all the aspects of passion. Sex had always been a frolic, a casual pleasure, not the transforming experience of last night. Julia was the only woman in the world who had belonged solely to him.
