Page 60 of Somewhere I'll Find You
Logan shrugged casually. “If I forced you to stay, you'd be in no condition to give a decent performance.”
“You could give the part to Arlyss,” Julia suggested. “She knows all of my lines. There's no need to cancel the play tomorrow night.”
“The role is yours. No one else could play it as you do.”
“Thank you, but—”
“Go to your father. Try to make peace with him. And come back soon…or I'll dock your salary.”
“Yes, sir,” Julia said obediently, though she wasn't deceived by Logan's attempted callousness. She gave him a small, grateful smile. “I've just realized that underneath everything you're a kind man. But don't worry—I won't ruin your reputation by telling anyone.”
Chapter 10
As Julia undertook the half-day journey to the Hargate estate in Logan Scott's wine-red lacquered carriage, she debated with herself about whether she should have informed Damon that she was leaving Bath. She was troubled by the nagging feeling that she should have confided in him. Was it wrong of her to want his comfort? More than anyone else, Damon would understand her complicated feelings toward her father.
The recollection of their bitter parting made Julia wince and set her jaw stubbornly. Damon wouldn't offer comfort; he would probably make some scornful remark and tell her she was welcome to shoulder her burdens alone. It would be hypocritical of her to make grand statements about her freedom and independence, and then turn to him for help at the first sign of trouble.
As the carriage and accompanying outriders traveled across the hilly countryside and approached the Hargate estate, Julia's urgency changed to apprehension. She realized she was afraid of what she might find at her childhood home, afraid of seeing her father ill, and certain that he would order her off the estate as soon as he saw her. The tall house perched among the hills like a hawk, dark and magnificent with its towers stretching toward the sky.
The vehicle stopped before the front entrance. A pair of footmen helped Julia from the carriage, while other servants came to take the horses and show the driver to the stables and carriage house. Before Julia had reached the top step, the massive door opened and the butler was there to welcome her inside.
In a matter of moments Eva appeared, wordlessly enfolding Julia in her arms.
“Mama,” Julia said in surprise, her cheek crushed against the pleated blue linen of her mother's gown. Although Eva's health had always varied greatly, she had never appeared as well as this. Somehow her mother had summoned a strength and sense of purpose she hadn't displayed in years. She was still far too thin, but the bones were no longer starkly prominent in her face, and there was a gleam of tranquillity in her brown eyes. It appeared that Eva took well to the unusual situation of being needed by her husband. For oncehewas the invalid and she was the head of the household.
“I'm glad you came,” Eva murmured. “I was afraid your schedule wouldn't allow a visit.”
“How is he?” Julia asked, walking with her through the entrance hall to the stairs. It seemed that a shroud had been pulled over the house; everything was unnaturally quiet and still.
Eva replied calmly, her face tense with worry. “Your father took to his bed with a fever several days ago. It was a very bad one—the doctor says it weakened all his organs. We weren't certain he would live, but now it seems the worst has passed.”
“Will he recover fully?”
“The doctor says he'll never be quite the same. The fever was enough to have killed a lesser man. It will take some time for Edward to regain his strength.”
“He won't want to see me,” Julia said, her insides drawn as tightly as violin strings.
“That's not true. He's been asking for you.”
“Why?” she asked warily. “If he wants to express his opinion that I've ruined my life and disgraced the family, I'm already aware—”
“Give him a chance,” Eva murmured. “He's been through an ordeal, Julia, and he wants to see his only child. I don't know what he wishes to say to you, but I entreat you to go to him in the spirit of forgiveness.”
Julia hesitated before replying. “I'll try.”
Eva shook her head ruefully. “If you only knew how like him you are. I believe you love him in spite of everything, but you won't set aside your pride long enough to admit it.”
“I do love him,” Julia admitted defiantly, “but that doesn't erase the things that have been said and done. Love doesn't keep people from hurting each other.”
They were both silent as they ascended the stairs together. “Would you like to freshen up in your room?” Eva asked.
“I'd prefer to see him right away,” Julia replied. She was too nervous to wait, and her tension built with each minute that passed. “That is, if Father is strong enough.”
Eva accompanied her to Edward's room. “Julia…” she said gently, “you must allow for the fact that people can change. Even your father. It's frightening to come so close to dying. I believe it made Edward face some events in his past that he has tried to ignore for years. Please be kind to him, and listen to what he has to say.”
“Of course. I'm hardly going to rush into his sickroom and start hurling accusations, Mama.”
Julia stopped at the doorway, waiting as Eva entered the room. Her mother's slender form was silhouetted against the strip of sunlight that had managed to slip through the lemon-colored window curtains. Bending over the lean form stretched out on the bed, Eva touched Edward's hair and murmured quietly.
