Page 26 of Tattoos and Heartbreak
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That night,I found her in the crowd on purpose. I signaled to the guys that we were going to sing our one and only love song—which we didn’t generally put into our sets and almost never practiced—and then turned to scan the crowd for a head full of red hair and the brightest eyes I’d ever seen. It didn’t take me long. The girl would have stood out in a crowd of a million, and there were probably only two hundred in this hall.
I sought her eyes like I was seeking shelter and when she turned to me and smiled, the world lit up. Home, I thought. This must be what home felt like. And family. Someone there for you no matter what—someone who would always be happy to see you, who would always have a hug for you and a place at their table. It was something that came so naturally to her, and yet…
I’d never experienced that. It was new and different and so mind-altering that I almost forgot the next words to the song. My mind kicked in and saved me, though, and we launched into the chorus, our music reaching up to the rafters and filling the entire place with chords I hadn’t even thought of for years.
God, this song was good. All about the heartbreak of feeling so much for someone you didn’t think you could hold it all in and the bigger heartbreak of finding out they didn’t feel the same way about you. The audience was definitely responding to it, though I doubted many of them had ever heard it before. They were swaying and lighting up their phones in response, their voices gone quiet as they listened.
We should play this one more often.
When I looked back to Lila, intent on finishing the song with her, I found that she was no longer alone. Some guy was standing next to her, close enough that his arm was pressed against hers, his head ducked down to say something to her. She was smiling in response and nodding, and I felt like whatever had been growing inside me all day had suddenly popped. The ease and peace I’d found disappeared, and in its place, a green, ugly monster lifted its head and roared.
Who the fuck was that guy and why was he talking to Lila? Why was she smiling like she’d never heard anything so charming, and what the fuck was he doing standing so close to her?
I ended the song on the last note and let the music fade from my guitar. Then I took the microphone in hand, looked right at her, and said, “I don’t know if you guys have seen the news but while we’ve been on this tour I’ve met someone pretty special. And right now, I’d like to bring her to the stage. Lila Potter, you want to get your cute little butt up here and say hello?”
I saw her tip her head in surprise and meet my eyes, then narrow her own in suspicion.
Moments later, though, she was leaving that guy behind and walking toward me again.
And that was all I needed to see.
LILA
Iwalked up to the stage with exactly zero idea of what Rivers wanted from me. We’d hustled our asses down here from the hotel—which was, weirdly, right upstairs—and hadn’t really had time to discuss where we stood after our little road trip. I didn’t know what we were telling other people, or if we were telling them anything.
Hell, I didn’t know how he even felt about what had happened between us. I didn’t know howIfelt. I’d gone into the drive thinking he was nothing more than a delinquent who believed in calling car theft ‘borrowing,’ and had come out of it thinking we’d created some sort of magic that I’d never before known existed.
And don’t even get me started on the physical chemistry between us.
As usual, everything I was thinking must have shown on my face, because when I got onto the stage I found River giving me a knowing look and the rest of his band raising their eyebrows in my direction.
Terrific. Evidently I didn’t even need to open my mouth for people to figure out what had happened between Rivers and me.
Though I didn’t think he’d called me up onstage to discuss it.
At least I hoped not.
When I came to a stop in front of him and waited for him to announce his intentions, though, he just stared at me. Opened his mouth, closed it again, and continued staring. His eyes flitted to the audience and back like he was looking for some sort of inspiration, and I felt a surge of affection bubbling up for him. What was hedoing? Did he even know?
Wasn’t he supposed to be a pro at this whole performing thing?
“Um, what’s up?” I finally asked, looking from Rivers to the audience and back.
His eyes came to mine and got wide, but then slid to the side, and his brows suddenly drew down in a frown. Confused, I followed the direction of his gaze, trying to figure out who he was scowling at... and saw the guy I’d been talking to before I came up here. I didn’t even know him, honestly. He was a local who’d found his way in without knowing who he was seeing and had been asking me about the band on stage. I’d been running through the usual stuff—who the band was, what they were known for, and the fact that they were opening for Olivia and Connor—when Rivers had suddenly called me up on stage.
And based on the way he was now scowling at the guy, I thought I knew exactly why he’d called me up.
He hadn’t had a plan. He hadn’t actually needed me for anything. He’d been upset that I was talking to a guy he didn’t know. He’d called me up here to get me away from the stranger.
Oh my God.
Look, I knew how it looked. That was not only jealous but also possessive and definitely not appropriate when it came to a girl he’d only known for a few days. Not only that, but I was allowed to talk to whoever the fuck I wanted to talk to, and he didn’t get to say a damn thing about it. I wasn’tactuallyhis girlfriend. I wasn’t actually anything to him.
And yet.
And yet we’d shared something special from the moment we met, and the afternoon in the meadow had shifted something between us. This guy had spent the first couple days on the road blowing me off and trying to prove that I didn’t mean anything to him, but he’d also saved me from a stack of speakers he’d thought were falling down and found shapes in the clouds with me. He’d shared his secrets and kept me company for a full night in a closed-down cafe.
