Page 33 of Rock & Roll Nights: The Lila and Rivers Edit
The other half was highly amused and more than a little bit touched. I found, to my surprise, that I didn’t hate him having the idea that he had a claim on my affections.
Maybe because he sort of did.
Not that I was going to let this opportunity for teasing him pass me by.
I turned to the audience and let my grin grow. “Hey folks, looks like Rivers has called me up here for no real reason. Unless any of you knows something I don’t.”
I turned my ear and put my hand up to it, inviting the audience to chime in on the question, and they immediately did so.
“He’s afraid to be up there by himself!” someone shouted.
“Because he’s in love with you!” someone else added.
“Doesn’t want you down here talking to anyone else!” someone said, their voice full of laughter.
I widened my eyes, trying my best for innocence, and put a hand to my chest. “You think he doesn’t know how to be up here by himself? But he’s been doing it for years!”
The crowd laughed and shouted more options, each of them more unlikely than the last, and finally I turned to Rivers and lifted an eyebrow. “What about it, Rivers? They seem to think you’re either afraid to be up here by yourself or afraid to leave me down there on my own. Either that or you think I’m a unicorn and don’t want someone else to get the treasure at the end of the rainbow. Which is it?”
He opened his mouth to answer but frowned at the same time, and I didn’t have to ask to know that this was probably the biggest response he’d ever had from an audience. I didn’t think he was used to this sort of attention, with laughter and joking included, and I doubted he knew what to do with it. The guy had gone out of his way to keep everyone at arm’s length and hadprobably never invited their opinions up on stage with him. Now they were suddenly cheering for him in a way they never had.
And he didn’t know who to be in this situation. It didn’t fit with the act he’d perfected. Scowling and playing the bad boy didn’t suit this atmosphere.
I grinned at him and grabbed one of his spare guitars off the stand.
“Well as far as I’m concerned, the best reason to be onstage is to sing a song. And since you’re not going to invite me, I guess I’ll just have to invite myself. Chime in if you feel the need.”
I turned back to the audience, who were all grinning and laughing now, and started playing the same song I’d played that first morning at breakfast. It didn’t need backup, and I could certainly do it by myself. It was probably the only song in my repertoire that didn’t even require Anna.
But when Noah picked up the beat with his drums and Matt started adding bass, I gave them quick grins. Moments later, Hudson and Rivers had joined in as well, each of them adding a layer I hadn’t written, and before long we were playing like we were a whole band, the boys improvising while I sang, and I didn’t know if anything had ever felt so right before.
Except, of course, having been in Rivers’ arms that afternoon under a bright sky dotted with fluffy clouds that looked like dragons.
17
RIVERS
Istumbled up the last few stairs and basically fell through the door onto my floor, chuckling to myself. God, I was drunk. Way more drunk than I’d realized when I left the bar downstairs. I hadn’t really felt it at first, but once I was climbing the stairs and trying to use my legs for something more complicated than just walking, it had become a problem.
I tried to remember how much whiskey I’d had to drink. One bottle? No, that wouldn’t have caused this much confusion. I drank a bottle on my own all the time. Two? That still didn’t seem right.
Could it have been… three? How the fuck would I still be standing if that was the case?
And why couldn’t I remember a simple detail like how much I’d had to drink?
That, Ididknow the reason for. I wasn’t paying attention to how much I was drinking because I hadn’t been drinking by myself. There had been at least three other people at the bar with me, and we’d been splitting bottles. I thought I’d had roughly ten shots, but I couldn’t be sure of that.
Hell, I couldn’t even remember the names of the girls I’d been drinking with. Or, come to think of it, what they’d looked like.
I know how awful that sounds, but the truth was, I probably hadn’t asked their names, and I hadn’t cared what they looked like. They weren’t important enough for me to bother. I’d found them in the bar and joined their party without an invitation, and when they realized who I was, they’d let me right in. No arguments. Just plenty of flirty looks and that general adjusting of the hems of skirts and necklines of blouses that always came with groupies realizing there was a rock star among them. I’d noticed it and laughed under my breath, half sickened and half thankful for it.
I was there, after all, for distraction.
I’d just come off stage and had been reeling with something I couldn’t name, though I knew I didn’t like it. I hadn’t been able to keep my mind of Lila Potter and the way she’d gotten to my side and managed the audience like a fucking natural.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d laughed when that guy had bent down to whisper something in her ear, and the jealousy that had flooded through me at the sight. I’d felt as though my heart was being torn out at the root, and had reacted so quickly—well, overreacted so quickly—that she’d gotten on stage before I realized what I’d done.
When she asked me what I wanted, I hadn’t been able to answer her. I wanted her all to myself. I wanted her in my life, in my pocket, for as long as she’d have me. She’d been special since the first moment I laid eyes on her, but something had shifted between us during that drive from one town to the next. Somewhere between stealing a truck and laying in the meadow, making stories about clouds, the girl had managed to crawl inside me and make herself at home. And I didn’t know how to deal with it. For the first time in my life, I wanted someone therewith me rather than wishing they’d leave me alone. I wanted her sunshine and her laugh and her ability to believe the best of the world.
