Page 34 of Little Bird
I watch as Gabe’s shoulders stiffen and his hands flex, and my own hands flex in response. Who the hell does that woman think she is? Where does she get off talking to him that way? And why isn’t Gunner stopping her?
How long has this been going on?
One look at Gunner tells me that he’s not interested in coming between them, though, and I wonder again what happened to him since I last saw him. Where’s the happy-go-lucky, laughing man I once knew? The one who would have done anything to protect his family?
Instead of answering, Gabe just snorts a laugh, turns, and heads for the door that leads to the back porch. Gunner and Gabby watch him, then exit as well, heading upstairs for whatever it is they do together.
And I’m left alone.
But I have Christmas around me, and the quiet peacefulness of the snowfall outside, and I breathe deeply for a moment, still furious, then let it all slip off my skin and into the darkness for a moment. Christmas is coming, and I’m safe. My mother hasn’t contacted me or come for me yet, and that must mean she hasn’t guessed that I came to Gunner, and there’s comfort in that. Sure, Gunner is an asshole and Gabe is still refusing to actually let me in, and I’m not sure how much longer I can stay here, but for just a moment, alone in the great home with the tree and a fake reindeer, I can pretend I’m safe and that everything’s okay.
I run my fingers along the inside of my wrists, feeling the ridges there, and know that I’m kidding myself. Things aren’t okay. I’m not actually safe. Not yet.
But I’ve never been opposed to lying to myself, if the mood hits.
And I want to pretend for a little while longer.
Gunner
“And I’m telling you that you can’t stay the night,” I say for the third time.
Gabby glares at me, her lips tight and her eyes narrow, and, for the third time, hisses that she has no intention of leaving when she’s been allowed to stay the night so many times before.
I take her by the arm and guide her toward the stairs, thoroughly finished with this entire conversation. We’ve been arguing for at least ten minutes now, our voices lowered so we don’t wake Gabe and Taryn, and so far, nothing has changed.
I’m done with it.
“And tonight, you’re not,” I say, forcing her to go down the first two steps. “It’s Christmas, we’re decorating the house, and this is time for the family to be together.”
“Family like that new little bitch you brought in?” she spits. “Why is she back, Gunner? And why did you bring her in without telling anyone?’
I almost laugh at that. “What do you want me to do, take out a full-page ad in the local paper and announce that she’s come back, and why she’s here? Gabby, be serious. Let’s go.”
“But I?—”
“Are not part of the family,” I confirm. “And we’re not having that argument again tonight.”
“But—”
“But nothing. Let’s go.”
She huffs but seems to realize that she’s not going to get anywhere, and finally goes down the stairs on her own power, which is a fucking relief. Gabby isn’t a bad woman, really, but she’s getting clingy in a way I don’t appreciate. I’m starting to think she has expectations I didn’t agree to.
Ideas I never would have accepted.
Because no matter what she might think, I’m not in the market for a new wife, and I’m certainly not looking for big a family situation. I’ve tried that.
It didn’t work.
We get to the bottom of the stairs, and she turns and tries one more time. “If you’re going to be here anyhow, I don’t see why I can’t?—”
“Because you’re not a part of my family, Gabby, no matter how much you try to pretend you are. I have my son here, and my stepdaughter, and I’m going to focus on time with them. That’s the only answer you’re going to get tonight.”
Her eyes grow dangerously narrow. “That girl isn’t even your stepdaughter anymore. Helen left you a long time ago. Left you high and dry, if I remember correctly.”
Ah, so now we’re bringing out the nails.
I reach around her, open the door, and push her gently out. “You drive safely, Gabby. Get home before the snow gets any worse.”
