Page 124 of Exactly What I Needed
Closing my eyes, I plunked down. A G sharp shattered the silence around me. Notes danced in the darkness of my eyes. I had once teased Asher about how everyone wanted to hear “Moonlight Sonata” by Beethoven, but now, the first note I picked in years to play was the first note of the right hand in that song.
Instead of turning that off and begging for something original, I swung my legs over the bench and played. Colors of mourning and anguish filtered through my mind as the stiffness in my fingers left with each sweep across the keys. I simply played, as if no time had passed.
And as the gentleness in my mind shifted to that of confusion and frustration, the notes morphed into the Third Movement. Speeding across the keys, the cage bars burst free, and the mental realization that all along, I, too, had a muse slammed into me.
Asher. He’d been my muse, just as I had been his and still was. He still was my muse as well. And no matter what happened, I was in control of my music. The pain and sorrow of secrets and burden that had rested on my shoulders flowed as freely as the keys of the piano below my fingers.
I wasn’t actively instructing my hands any longer. No, they were fueled by every lingering emotion I’d bottled up so tightly and been refusing to let burst free.
Until now.
The music swelled around me, filling every nook and cranny of silence that had all but consumed me. Blooming forth from the shadows came an overwhelming flood of tears that carried with them the last ounces of fear and resentment I’d kept stashed away.
And finally, finally, I was free.
As the last notes rang throughout the room, I opened my eyes and smiled.
To hell with keeping Duvaldi a secret. If I could, I would remain the faceless composer, but if that came to light, then so be it. After all of the shit I went through, I could handle that.
“YOU CAN PLAY THE PIANO?” Emily and Sophie screeched at the same time.
My eyes snapped open, and I spun around on the bench. Both girls’ jaws hung to the floor, and neither of them blinked. I slowly nodded but said nothing.
“Since when?” Emily added.
I shrugged my shoulders as Xander’s eyelids fluttered down slowly, exhaustion riddling his bones.
“My whole life?” I hesitantly replied, as my eyes danced back and forth between the two girls who still remained frozen in place. The clock ticked slowly in the corner, reminding me that time was moving, yet my best friends weren’t. Neither girl’s lashes fluttered over their eyes. Neither of them shifted a muscle as they both remained staring straight forward at me.
Heat rose in my cheeks the longer they stared. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I also wasn’t exactly sure what to feel. “I think I need to get Xander to bed and then put in for a sub.”
Sophie and Emily still didn’t move.
“I mean, you didn’t think I was incapable of playing when I teach music for a living, right?” I pressed.
Emily finally inhaled. “Oh, true. True. That’s a logical assessment. I guess…” Her voice trailed off as Sophie finally blinked.
“We’ve just never actually seen or heard you play the piano, and that was phenomenal,” Sophie gushed breathlessly.
“Thank you.” The heat deepened in my face as I rose from the bench and rushed over to Xander, desperate to hide behind my tired toddler. “I really should get him to bed, and then I need to put in for a sub and hopefully get approved for one, then type up plans for the substitute.”
The two girls nodded as Xander rubbed his sleepy eyes.
“We’ll see you tomorrow. And you know,” Emily stated, finally standing up with a wink. “If you’re open to it, I’d love some answers to all the questions I’m fucking dying to ask.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and crossed her fingers.
I gave her a smile as Sophie smacked her on the arm. “Xander’s still around,” she hissed. “But.” She sliced a steely but teasing glare my way. “I do agree with Em.”
“Deal,” I answered and tucked my son closer to my body as he deeply exhaled.
“Love you,” Emily and Sophie called out over their shoulders as they grabbed their shoes and disappeared from my little apartment.
I smiled, studying the plain white, closed door for a moment. They had been my rocks for the past three years, and I was no longer afraid of what might happen if someone found out about my connection to Duvaldi. I’d stopped giving any royalties to my parents the moment I’d left California three years ago, and they’d never even bothered to reach out or attempt to find me.
Everything about Duvaldi was mine. And Asher’s. He knew. He had known all this time and still kept that to himself. Maybe I’d lost a few pieces of my heart all those years ago. My mind still felt a little foreign, but somehow, the moment he showed up, he’d carried me home. All it had taken was me being strong enough to open that door.
“Let’s get you to bed, buddy,” I whispered to the tiny human in my arms.
Chapter 43
