Page 51 of Exactly What I Needed
“Protect what?” A flicker of something I’d never seen before darted across his gaze. “Yourself?”
“That’s not fair,” I whispered, my resolve faltering.
“Get out,” he stated.
“Wh-what?” I stammered.
“I said get. Out.” He pointed at the door, his face void of all emotion.
Anger. Immediate anger flooded my body, masking the shattering pieces of my heart falling to the pit of my stomach, and I shoved myself up from the ground.
“You knew,” I snarled at him. “You knew what my answer was from the beginning.”
He stared at me, not a single ounce of guilt or even frustration on his face.
“You asshole!” I shouted and shoved him against his chest. He barely swayed, but I heard his breath hitch in his throat. Except I didn’t care anymore.
“You know what, fuck you,” I snapped, bending down and picking up my dress. “Fuck you and your stupidly addicting self.” I tore off his shirt and tugged my dress over my head, not bothering to put on my bra. Besides, he could keep both thongs if he really wanted; I just needed to get away from him.
I managed to zip the dress up and stomped to the door. Tugging my heels on, I bit back the tears that were flooding my eyes. I hated him.
No, I hated how much I wanted him. How much I needed him. I hated how much I was attached to him. I hated how much I didn’t hate him. He got me to confess the words that made me the worst best friend possible, destroyed any shred of deniability I had left, and then threw me to the wind.
Grabbing the handle to the door, I felt my lip quiver, hesitating. I wanted him to say something, do something, attempt to stop me, but there was nothing except silence and pain.
And tears quietly spilled over. I couldn’t stop them as I turned the knob and pulled the door open to meet the gaze of Kieron, Drake, and Jaxon. Drake had his fist raised like he was about to knock on the door, but now all three of them were frozen in shock. Confusion flooded their gazes as I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks and ducked around them.
“Cosette?” Jaxon called out as I quickly walked down the hallway.
“Where are you going?” Drake shouted as I pressed the button for the elevator.
“Don’t you want to stay and watch a movie with us?” Kieron asked lastly as the doors slid apart. Wet streaks stained my cheeks as I stepped inside, unable to look at them—unable to say anything. I was drowning in the agony of my own stupid choices.
Pressing the number one, I faced the front, staring at the blank wall across the hallway, waiting for the doors to close. Waiting for this to become a memory that I could shove to the back of my mind and pretend like it never happened.
Finally, they began to clunk closed, inching together to shut out this world that I wasn’t supposed to be a part of. Closing me off from someone I should’ve never gotten involved with in the first place. I should’ve just stuck with my mundane life. I had people who cared about me; I wasn’t making stupid decisions that could destroy a lifetime friendship. I wasn’t being impulsive, and I wasn’t losing control.
Closing my eyes, I breathed out in relief right before the doors closed entirely. Except the elevator didn’t start descending.
Snapping my eyes open, I met Asher’s gaze. He was standing between the doors in his joggers while barefoot. I blinked, shocked and trying to clear away the tears. Wiping my cheeks with my hands, I tried to look at everything except him. But once the blurriness faded, I couldn’t. The emotion, the reaction, the explanation to his words that I’d been searching for in his face were plain as day in his eyes.
Pain.
There was the most searing agony in his gaze.
But it was a little too late.
I took a small step away from him, bumping against the back of the elevator. It took everything in me, but I tore my gaze away from him. He couldn’t simply stop the elevator and look at me like that. There was an apology that was needed, if not more. I had been crystal clear from the beginning that something between us couldn’t happen.
“Look at me,” Asher finally said.
I slowly shook my head, fighting back the tears.
“Cosette, please.” His voice broke.
I lifted my eyes to meet his but kept myself as far away as I could.
“Forgive me,” he whispered.
