Page 114 of Exactly What I Needed
Him. I knew what had been missing; I knew it had been him. All I’d wanted was the piece of me that came into my life at exactly the right moment, right when I needed it. Which had been him.
Once again, he was here, giving me exactly that. Giving me back the control and power ripped from me so long ago. Despite leaving him, despite anguish that I knew I’d caused, here he was, freely giving me his heart once again. Even at the risk of it being broken, he still offered it to me.
And I gave him mine.
He was a part of me. He always had been. I wanted someone to know all of me as he did, crave all of me, even the own parts of my soul that terrified me. He knew the anguish, the pain, the excruciating death that once clawed so closely at my door.
His lips made their way back to my mouth, and I slid my hands to his chest. He was my anchor in this life of a sinking ship. Calloused fingers slipped above my ears and threaded into my hair.
Our lips lingered, caught like Velcro for a moment longer, before we slowly broke apart. I kept my eyes closed, allowing myself to remain in the kiss even after it had ended.
“You know, it’s still there,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his as I spoke. It seemed he hadn’t quite pulled away completely either.
“What is?” His breath whispered against my mouth.
Cracking my eyelids open, I smiled even wider as I found him with his head still tilted and his eyes closed, so close to me I could see each individual dark lash.
“It was my choice to ask you for it, and after everything happened, I started picking at the scab. My therapist said it was a way for me to subconsciously remind myself I once had a choice and would again,” I explained and dropped my hands from his chest.
He finally opened his beautiful eyes and furrowed his thick brows. “You asked me for it?”
Nodding, I grabbed the hem of my dress. “I guess I didn’t want to let you go either.”
His gaze darted down to my fingers, and then a light sparked in his eyes. “Can I…Can I see it?” he whispered.
I nodded.
His hands closed over mine as he took a half step back and allowed me room to spread my legs a little wider. The tension that swirled in the air wasn’t uncomfortable, but a silent confession that in a way, I guess I’d waited three years for him too.
Pushing the fabric up sent goosebumps erupting upon my skin.
My choice.Being vulnerable like this with him was fully my choice. He’d verbally asked for permission, and not as some ruse to gain control and power over me.
His chest expanded with a sharp inhale, and he stopped pushing my skirt up the moment his bite mark was exposed.
My choice.
“The other scars were put on my body without my consent. But this one…” I started to explain as his gaze lingered on the single mark that had been of my own volition.
And then the peaceful bubble surrounding us burst as another major reason I’d stayed away slapped me in the face. A reason that, even though I fought it, my lawyer convinced me was the right choice.
All euphoria left my body, I was drowned in a wash of fear and guilt, realizing he didn’t know something that he should’ve known before all of this.
Chapter 39
“Asher…” I hesitantly muttered and shoved against his hands, attempting to cover the bite mark.
He immediately let go and lifted his gaze to mine. Lines creased between his brows as he pinched them together. With a wiggle, I tugged my skirt down and slid off the desk. “I can’t… I can’t do this crazy rock star shit again.”
His gaze darkened, and he took a step back. “What the hell are you talking about? You just said that you didn’t want to let me go either?”
“It’s not like that. There’s something else, and I should’ve said something earlier because you’ll probably change your mind about me. I didn’t know until after I’d already— My lawyer said this was the safest thing, but you’re here and— There’s this— Um…” My voice trailed off as I glanced at a picture on my desk. Asher was here. My lawyer hadn’t said shit about what to do if Asher found me, and I could no longer keep this from him. “It’s complicated to explain, and I need you to listen to everything I say before you… freak out…”
“Complicated? Freak out? I thought you said there wasn’t any other guy? Do you have a boyfriend? A husband?”
I shook my head. “No, no! It’s not like that.”
“Okay, then I don’t get it. What’s wrong with me?” he asked, shoving his hands back in his pockets, hiding fingers that I was already craving to have touch me again.
