Page 37 of Love's Instant Replay
Biting my bottom lip, I ponder Tracy’s statement because it’s not the first time I’ve thought that maybe I’m overreacting or making a mountain out of a mole hill. The problem with admitting that I might be wrong is that I’m torn between truth and actions. My heart is saying to judge Kaeden by everything he’s shown me thus far. But my traitorous mind is saying that Kaeden is a professional football player with a roving dick.
“Don’t be quiet now. I see the guilt all in your ey—” Loud banging cuts off Tracy’s statement, causing me to blink rapidly and Tracy to freeze.
The banging continues, alerting us that whoever is at the front door isn’t going to go away until someone answers. Our cars are in the parking lot, so I’m sure the irate customer is aware of our presence in the bookstore.
“This is why we need to go get our CCW and carry our black asses out of this store before it gets dark,” Tracy fusses.
Nodding, I pick up the steel bat beside my desk and exit my office with Tracy holding a can of mace beside me.
“Alright, I’ll spray them, and you start swinging. We’ll call RPD after you’ve knocked them unconscious,” Tracy whispers, despite it just being the two of us inside.
All that can be heard is banging as my heart races with each step toward the front entrance. The heels I wore to work are underneath my desk, allowing me to quietly move to my destination. Tracy is tiptoeing despite wearing flat shoes thatdon’t make any noise. The vein in my neck is pulsing the closer we get, and the urge to release my bladder surfaces, which is crazy because I don’t even have to go to the bathroom. A gasp escapes my mouth when my eyes land on the person unceremoniously attempting to enter the store.
“Looks like it’s curtains for your hiding window. Do you still want the mace? He looks like he could piss fire,” Tracy says teasingly without looking at me.
A shiver slides down my back at the glower on Kaeden’s face as he bangs on the door. I’m feeling anything but fear as my lower region thumps and juices begin flowing from my honeypot as it acknowledges Kaeden’s presence.
“Alright, tell me before I open this door, mace or nah?” Tracy says, snapping me from my raging libido.
“N-n-n-no. I’m—I’ll be fine,” I say, attempting to get my thoughts together once we reach the front entrance as I swallow the growing lump in my throat.
“Mhm. This man is about to turn you out in here. Do me a favor and sanitize whatever y’all penetrate, please.” Not giving me time to respond, Tracy unlocks the door, allowing Kaeden to charge in like a panther seconds from destroying its prey.
“This—”
“Hey, Kaeden. Bye, Kaeden. See you later, bestie,” Tracy says, waving while hurrying out the door before closing and locking it as Kaeden stares daggers into me.
“We—let’s talk in my office,” I say before turning and heading back where I came as heat hits my back, letting me know that Kaeden is behind me.
“I’m going to start this discussion because there are some things that I need to get off my chest.”
My goodness, why am I starting to feel hot?
The intensity with which Kaeden is staring at me and the slight bulge on his left thigh have my body heating rapidly.
“I know the paparazzi invaded our privacy and made what had been an enjoyable date seem meaningless. But let me make you aware of some real shit so I can clear the cloudy ass waters swimming in your mind. The first day I saw you, I saw a woman whose smile drew me in like a magnet, causing my heart to skip several beats.”
My heart is galloping as my mind fights to keep up with the words leaving his mouth. The firm, intense eye contact along with the subtlety of his hand gliding along my exposed thigh, has me feeling out of sorts. His eyes are shining, becoming glossy, and softening with every passing second. As he continues, I hang onto his every word with a dry mouth and racing pulse.
“This is one of the drawbacks of being in the public eye, and I hate this. I want the lasting, long-term parts of you that those reckless mothafuckas don’t know, nor do they understand.”
“Why?” The word echoing the loudest in my brain slips from my lips as we engage in an intense stare-down.
“Why the fuck not? In you, I’m finding peace. I’m finding calm in the midst of continuous days of chaos.”
Biting my lip, I contemplate what it will be like on a regular basis to be seen in the headlines, internet blogs, and various places simply by being with him.
“Unfortunately, being an athlete means the media attention comes with the territory when dating me. But even knowing that, I’m letting you know right now . . . I’m not giving you up. I want to put the ball in your court, but doing so means that you might shut down on my ass again, and I’m not feeling that shit.”
My eyes water as I take in Kaeden’s words that hit me like a dart in the chest.
“Seeing us plastered online and reading so many nasty comments caused me to shut down mentally. This is a new arena for me, and I’m sc—” My words get stuck to the roof of my mouth as my eyes become misty.
“Fuck! I’m sorry, baby. But you don’t have to be scared. With every-fucking-thing in me, I’m gonna protect you and us.”
“I really like you, Kaeden, and I’m sorry for not being woman enough to handle my reaction maturely. I want us and what we’re building. How can I deal with these situations because we’re out here now?”
“A part of being your man is protecting, securing, and affirming you. We’re gonna shift these mothafuckas narrative, because I ain’t the nigga they think I am.”
