Page 48 of Love's Instant Replay
“I hope I didn’t do anything to make her stay away. I really like her. I love when she reads to me. She does characters better than you do. She also rubs my head when the book ends and kisses my forehead. Oh, and she says, ‘Alright, Mica, don’t let the bed bugs bite before leaving my room.’ I miss that too. What if the bed bugs bite now that she isn’t here to tell me that?”
Opening and closing my mouth, I scramble internally for the right words to tell my baby to make this situation better. While I’m innocent in what led to Kyelle attempting to end us, the effect on Mica is breaking my heart.
“Why are you staring at the stairs? Blink three times if I need to call them people to get you some help, Bro. How many hits did you take during practice?” Jaleel’s voice snaps me out of the brief memory between Mica and me.
“Shut up, bitch nigga.” Picking up my phone, I type a message to Kyelle without visually acknowledging Jaleel.
Me:
Goodnight, Ms. Ky. You better not be letting another nigga bite what’s mine.
“Aye, Bro. Real talk, I got a little situation I need you to help me work through.”
Setting my phone beside me, I look up to see the determination warring with something undefinable in Jaleel’s eyes that has me sitting up straighter.
“What’s on your mind?”
“So check it . . . I’ve been with this little shorty for a minute, and I’m really feeling her, but the pressure of being your little brother has little baby leery of how genuine I am.”
“Word? You ain’t shared with me any?—”
“Stay focused, Bro. I’m sick to my stomach about my lady walking out on me just because of who you are. We’ve beenspending a lot of time together, and my heart—damn, my bitch ass heart is telling me that she’s the one. Bu?—”
“Whoa. What the hell are you saying right now?”
My eyes bulge and continuously blink while looking at Jaleel because as far as I know, he hasn’t been in a monogamous relationship in years.
“Fuck! Alright, you got me. But that shit was what you should be saying to me while you’re walking around with your shoulders hitting the ground. Talk to me, my nigga.” The smirk and light in Jaleel’s eyes make me throw the pillow next to me at him.
“Motha—”
“For real. Why hasn’t Kyelle been here? Between you and Little Bit, I’m ready to rent an Airbnb until shit gets better around here. Y’all are depressing as fuck.”
Moving on autopilot means I haven’t had a chance to tell Jaleel what’s been going on, and he isn’t on social media. According to Jaleel, his patience with irrelevant people discussing me will have him crashing out, so he avoids it altogether. Sighing heavily, I break down the shitstorm that’s been happening as Jaleel listens intently.
“So, let me get this straight. You let ho ass Meshay alter your world for a second time.”
“I ain’t let her do?—”
“You did. How the fuck are you a professional athlete and haven’t learned the concept of stiff arming mothafuckas? Or better yet, why did your dumb ass stand there long enough to become a thirst trap headline? Boy, when Ma made you, she reserved her smart genes until having me.”
For a second, I let Jaleel have it because I’ve spent countless days kicking my own ass about walking into a clear setup. Blaming Meshay is one thing, but the truth is, I shouldn’t have ever given her the space to engage with me at all. Not to mention,her motivation had nothing to do with her curiosity regarding the child we share.
“I know, which is the only reason I didn’t attempt to force Ky?—”
“It doesn’t seem like you had time to do anything but dodge the splinter from the wood smacking you in the face from her door.”
Kyelle’s downcast face and puffy eyes slam into my mind, pinching my chest at yet another reminder of her torment.
“Stop sulking. All you can do is let her calm down and then try to get her to listen to reason.”
“Too much time could backfire, and I could lose her forever. That woman is my wife, and this shit is fucking me up, bro.” Admitting my feelings in the face of Jaleel’s teasing can’t be helped or stopped, as my emotions become raw at the thought of never repairing what’s broken between Kyelle and me.
“I can see that, and I can respect it. But unlike Meshay, Kyelle isn’t with you for your status. A woman with her own bag doesn’t need the material things you can supply her with. Kyelle is a woman of substance who’s searching for the heart things a man can provide. You’re gonna have to prove to her heart that it’s worth giving you another shot.”
My mouth opens and closes twice at the words coming from my brother, who spends most of his time tormenting my six-year-old. I forget that Jaleel has not only grown up but matured, making his words hit me like a dagger.
“Damn. I hear you, Bro.”
