Page 63 of Sliding into Love
I’m in trouble.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
KENNETH
The moment I wake up,I know things are wrong. There's a stillness to the room. It leaves me feeling empty.
With my eyes closed, I reach out a hand to see if Royce is beside me. Worst case scenario, I bump them and wake them up. Best case, they're there and sleep through it and I get a cuddle session.
When my hand meets cold sheets, I bite my lip to stifle the whimper that wants to come.
It's not fair.
Where are they?
I know last night was a spur-the-moment thing. I know we didn't plan on anything more. They think we’re enemies.
And yet I have never hated him. Not in the way he probably thinks.
I accepted the terms of last night, the promises that we wouldn't change anything drastically. Inside, though, I was longing for it to all be a lie. I want to believe that there is a chance for more between us. That last night was only the start of things.
Royce's absence tells me those hopes and dreams don't matter.
Because without them here, I can't even plead my case. There is no case, in fact.
I'll have to pretend as if this connection between us doesn't exist. I'll have to stop myself from wanting them, from craving them.
There's a soreness that reminds me exactly how well they fucked me, how thorough they were in bringing me pleasure and chasing their own.
How am I supposed to move on from this? How do I act normal?
The truth of the matter is I can't. I'll have to put on a face for the sake of getting through our final weeks together. After that, I'll make myself sparse. If I know Royce is going to be around, I'll avoid going.
And if they try to reach out, I'll… Well, I don't know what I'll do.
Lying in bed isn't going to help, though.
With a groan, I sit up and look around the space. It's the same as it was the night before, minus the person I was with and their clothes. I shuffle into the bathroom and turn the water on as hot as I can. As I scrub my skin, I force down the arousing memories that pop up of their hands on my body. I suppress the visions of how it felt for them to push inside of me.
My cock rallies, wanting me to stroke it. But I don't. I can't. Not when sadness is the overwhelming emotion running through me. Not when I feel completely lost.
After drying off, I throw on some sweats. There's nothing for me to eat here, which means I'll have to go out to get food. Plus, the need for caffeine is strong.
Actually, scratch that. I don't need caffeine. I need comfort. I'll get some hot chocolate. With extra whip cream. Definitely a few pastries. Anything and everything to help me wallow in mydespair over losing the best thing I had, though I don't really think I ever had them.
One night does not constitute a relationship. I know that logically.
My heart, however, does not.
After grabbing my keys to lock up, I open the door and freeze. Because there, with their fists raised to knock, is Royce, with a brown paper bag and a tray of drinks.
"You," I say, voice broken at seeing them in my space again.
Royce smirks, "Yes, it's me. You going to let me in?"
It's then they notice the keys in my hand.
"Unless you were leaving, I can go."
