Page 95 of Sliding into Love
"No." The answer is immediate and firm. "Not this time. Not until we've talked, and you understand what this really involves."
"I don't like this. I don't like you going out there alone to do potentially dangerous work.”
"I won't be alone. Carver will be there, and we have other people who help with this kind of thing." They cross back to me, cupping my face in their hands. "I will be careful. I will come back. And then we will talk about all of this."
"Do I have a choice in anything?”
"You always have a choice, Kenneth. You can choose to stay and wait for me. You can choose to leave and not deal with any of this. You can choose?—"
I cut them off with a kiss, pouring everything I'm feeling into it. My fear. My frustration. When I pull back, we're both breathing hard.
"I choose you," I say simply. "Whatever this is, whatever you're involved in, I choose you. But you have to promise me you'll be safe."
"I promise. I'll text you updates when I can." They kiss me again, softer this time.
"Okay."
They grab their things and head for the door, then pause in the threshold, looking back at me with an expression I can't quite read.
"Be safe," I tell them.
"I will, Little Menace." Their voice is gentle. "Don't wait up for me."
"I don't think I can sleep even if I wanted to. I'm exhausted after finding all this out.”
A small smile crosses their face. "Then I'll try to wrap up quickly to get back to you."
In the next instant they're gone, and I'm alone in the apartment with burnt vegetables and a thousand questions. I sink down onto the couch, my phone in my hand, and wait.
The apartment feels too quiet without Royce. I try to distract myself. I clean up the kitchen, put away the groceries they brought back. Attempt to salvage our dinner before giving up and ordering pizza instead.
But my mind keeps returning to that phone call. To Royce's careful explanations. To the way they looked dressed all in black, preparing to do something they wouldn't let me be part of.
They help people get out of bad situations. Dangerous situations.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
It's noble. It's dangerous. It's so absolutely Royce that I can't believe I didn't see it before.
My phone buzzes.
Royce: First checkpoint cleared. Everything going smoothly. Should be done in a few hours.
I type back immediately.
Kenneth: Please be careful.
Royce: Always am. Get some rest if you can.
Kenneth: Not likely, but I'll try.
I stare at the screen for a moment before setting my phone down. The pizza arrives, and I eat mechanically, not really tasting it. I turn on the TV but can't focus on anything. Every few minutes I check my phone, hoping for another update.
Hours crawl by. It's past midnight when my phone finally buzzes again.
Royce: Wrapping up now. Everyone is safe. Be there soon if you want?
The relief that washes over me is physical. I slump back against the couch cushions, suddenly aware of how tense I've been holding myself.
