Page 187 of Blood & Snow
He shifts so he can look at me directly, his pale eyes bright as a half smile crests on his lips.
"Why would I be angry about the woman I love carrying my child?"
"Because it complicates everything. Because a baby makes me even more of a liability?—"
"Stop."
He silences me with a kiss.
"You're not a liability. You're my future. Both of you are."
The certainty in his voice eases some of the fear that has been eating at me since I saw those two pink lines, and his hand rubs a small circle on my belly where within a few months our child will announce his or her presence.
"But Irina," I protest.
"She threatened to keep Anya and Mikhail away from me if I didn't quit what I'm doing for you… And now with a baby coming?—"
"I'll talk to her," Xander says.
"Okay? I won't let your family fall apart."
"You'd do that?"
"I'd do anything to keep you in my life, little bird. Anything at all."
Relief floods through me, so powerful it brings fresh tears.
"Thank you."
"The Sokolov threat is finished," he continues, his thumb strumming over my navel.
"Every enemy who knew about you is dead. You're safe now, truly safe. We can build whatever life you want."
"What if I want a normal life? A family, a home where children can grow up without fear?"
"Then that's what we'll have."
His conviction leaves no room for doubt.
"The war is over, Nadya. I can step back from active operations, focus on the business side of the organization. We'll find a house outside the city, somewhere with a garden and space for children to play."
The future he describes sounds impossible, a fantasy that men who kill for a living don't get to claim. But looking into his eyes, I see determination.
"I want to believe you," I whisper.
"Then believe me. I'm not letting you go,Ptichka. Not now, not ever. You and our baby are mine to protect, and I've never failed at anything I've committed to."
Maybe miracles do happen.
Maybe even monsters can find redemption through the women who love them despite their sins.
Maybe we'll survive this after all.
31
XANDER
Nadya's hand trembles in mine as we stand outside her sister's door.
