Page 96 of Blood & Snow
I watched him take a life and I did nothing to stop him.
I didn’t even scream.
I couldn’t.
My legs give out.
I slide down the tile until I'm sitting on the shower floor, water streaming over my head and shoulders.
The heat should comfort me, but I can't feel anything except the memory of cold air and spreading red.
The shower door opens.
Xander steps inside, still fully clothed.
Water soaks through his black shirt, plastering the fabric to his chest.
He kneels beside me, one hand cupping my face.
"Look at me."
I meet his eyes.
The gray appears almost silver under the bathroom lights.
"You didn't kill him."
"I watched you."
My voice breaks on the words.
"I stood there and watched and I didn't?—"
"You didn't have a choice."
There's always a choice…
I think to myself but the words won't come.
His thumb traces my cheekbone.
"Ptichka," he whispers, and I see the concern in his face.
The water continues to fall around us as he starts to peel his wet shirt off.
The wound on his shoulder reminds me of how many times I've been given warnings from the universe that this man isn't someone I should be with.
But when I meet his gaze, I see the man I love.
A man I've made love to, one I have chosen time and time again.
I choke out a sob, and shake my head, covering my mouth.
"I don't know if I can live with this."
The admission tears out of me.
"I don't know if I can?—"
