Page 93 of Catch
“I told you that she passed away, but I didn’t tell you how—” I pause, taking a deep breath. Even after all this time, talking about her death is difficult. “Mama worked on the ranch, but she also had a part time job at a local bar during the fall season, which gave her extra cash for the holidays. She wanted to make sure I didn’t want for anything. Only, on one of those nights at the bar, a fight broke out, and Mama being Mama, she tried to intervene. She was stabbed and died on her way to the hospital.”
“Oh my God, Jett. I… Fuck, I’m so, so sorry.”
Ethan holds me even tighter, and I blink away the tears that threaten.
“I didn’t know the details about how she died at first, but it all came out eventually. We had to relive it again when theman who killed her was arrested. Losing her was—” I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I mean, it is, the most difficult thing I’ve ever faced. Afterward, I was clinically depressed, anxious, and like I told you, acting out. I was a fucking mess until I discovered rowing. Eventually, I went to a therapist and things got better. But even now, there are times when the pain of losing her hits me so hard that I’m not sure how I manage to get back up. But I do it. Every day. I do it for her. I want to make her proud.”
Ethan kisses the top of my head, and the sweet gesture tips me over the edge, tears spilling down my face.
“Sorry,” I whisper into his skin. “I don’t know why that all came tumbling out. My timing is shit.”
“No it’s not. I asked. And I’m glad you told me. Do Archie and Hudson know about your mom?”
“Yeah, but not the rest of the Crew. I mean, they know my mom passed but not how. I never told Renner either. Only a handful of people. It’s a lot for me to talk about.”
Ethan rubs his cheek against my hair. I’m suddenly bone tired, and I can’t keep my eyes open.
“Do you realize that this is one of the longest conversations we’ve ever had?”
“I know. Who would have guessed? Not me.”
My voice is slurred, and I burrow into Ethan’s warmth. Nothing has ever felt so good or right. Not in years.
“There’s no going back,” he whispers. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Despite my tears, Ethan’s comment makes me smile. It’s the last thing I remember before sleep claims me.
I open my eyes and jolt when I realize I’m not in my own bed.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m right here.”
Ethan’s sleep-roughened voice teases my ear, and I settleback into his arms. I wonder if he even realizes that he calls me “baby”? It’s not the first time he’s said it, but it’s the first time he’s called me that when we’re not having sex. I’m curled up on my side, my back to his chest, and Ethan’s wrapped around me like a python.
Even in sleep he’s possessive.
I wriggle in his arms and turn over to face him. In the darkened room, I can’t see him clearly, so I use my hand to trace his profile, lingering over his sharp cheekbones and finally his soft lips. He makes a humming noise as he nips my finger, and I go from sleepy to wide awake in a heartbeat.
“Did I wake you?” I whisper.
“No, I couldn’t sleep.”
I smile and lean over to kiss him, our tongues tangling.
“Sleep is overrated anyway.”
“Sugar, you took the words right out of my mouth.”
CHAPTER 21
JETT
A WEEK LATER - NATIONAL COLLEGE ATHLETIC COMPETITION
Ethan and I have spent every spare moment over the past week at his place or mine, and I want to say that it’s only fooling around, a bit of extracurricular fun, but that would be an outright lie.
I thought he was the one obsessed with me, but it turns out that works both ways. If we’re not in our respective classes or practices, we’re together. The sex is off the charts and sometimes we can’t wait to get to my dorm or to his house. We make out behind the rink, the boatshed, or in any bathroom in any building. But it’s more than hooking up. We can talk about everything. Ethan likes to play into his frat boy image, but I know now what his closest friends were trying to tell me. He’s loyal, protective, and always honest, sometimes painfully so.
I know what we have is more than sex and more than friendship, and I suspect Ethan knows it too, even if he doesn’t want to put a name to what we’re doing. He waits for me before class, after rowing practice, and becomes mytraining buddy at the gym. And I’m there to cheer on his first home ice hockey game, screaming louder than anyone when he scores a goal.
