Page 127 of Catch
Damien offers a rare smile.
“It’s all yours.”
I nod.
“I have to warn you Coach; you’re gonna hear a lot of swearing and shouting.”
“It wouldn’t be hockey otherwise.”
Dane and I make for the locker room, and getting suited up is a routine that calms me. No matter where my mind’s at or what’s going on in my life, hockey is my constant.
Hockey, and now Jett.
I didn’t think I’d ever need another person or anything other than this sport to anchor me. To make me happy. Until Jett came along and challenged everything I thought I knew about myself. Now I can’t imagine my life without him. It’s probably time I told him that, even if the idea makes me break out in a cold sweat. Which is hilarious considering that I never have a problem vocalising anything.
Except saying “I love you.”
“You ready?” Dane asks.
That’s a loaded question given my train of thought, but I don’t hesitate to answer.
“I am.”
I tie my skates, grab my stick, and head for the ice. The warmup feels good, the familiarity of the rink centering me.
Until Renner’s hate-filled words echo in my mind.
Jett’s panic.
That feeling of powerlessness takes hold, and I slam my stick onto the ice in frustration.
“Fuck!”
“Shots on goal, bud,” Dane calls out behind me. “Hit it and hit it hard.”
I snag a puck and wind up, imagining that I’m aiming for Renner’s head instead of the empty net. The cracking sound of the blade hitting the puck is always satisfying, but today even more so.
I grab another puck and do it again. And again.
After I take ten shots on goal—and content that I’ve obliterated imaginary Renner—Dane and I play one-on-one. At one point, I’m skating so fast that when Dane tries to block my way, we crash into the boards with a reverberating thud. It’s nothing we haven’t experienced after years of playing, so we brush it off and keep going until our hour’s up and then some. I’m so exhausted I can barely stand, never mind skate down the ice again.
“Feel better?” Dane asks.
I nod.
“Have you worked it out yet?”
Dane’s not talking about my anger.
“I have.”
“And?”
Without realizing, I offer up a smile.
“I think I should tell Jett first.”
Jett
