Page 65 of Spark
Her words are forcing light onto soft parts of my heart that I’ve kept hidden since walking away from Finlay ripped them to shreds. "He and I are so different…"
The fierceness in her features gentles as she lays her hand on my shoulder. "In your own ways, both of you are caretakers. Maybe Finlay goes overboard with gifts, but maybe that’s the way he grew up. You’re always the first to jump in and offer help, even to your own detriment."
Sucking in air, trying to pick through my thoughts to find a valid rebuttal, I grip the bottle of juice. Cold seeps into my hands, raising fresh goosebumps on my skin, but does nothing to cool the heat rising behind my eyelids. "That’s not—"
"True? Yes, it is." Quirking a brow, she crosses her arms over her chest. The no-nonsense stance places her tattoos on display and dares me to deny her statement. "I’ve seen you give up your food to people when you haven’t eaten all day. Coats and shirts right off your back, which then left you exposed to the elements. Teo, you put yourself in financial jeopardy to help me. Not everyone would do that. It was a huge thing. With bills, mortgages, and the kids, it’ll take me decades to pay you back—"
"I don’t want you to pay me back." Taking her hand, I squeeze it once, then again as I push to standing. "I handled it so you wouldn’t have to worry."
"And maybe that’s all Finlay was trying to do for you too." Lifting her chin like she’s daring me to argue, she shoves the juice bottle into my chest. "Now rehydrate. You were in that chair long enough."
Wrapping my head around Finlay’s intentions is still hard. I’ve had a month to process what happened. To relive every second over and over. To miss him more than I’ve ever missed anyone.
Sofia smooths her hand up and down my arm. It’s such a maternal move, I can’t help but soften. "You need to learn how to accept help. Just because youcando it alone, doesn’t mean you have to, or should."
Her words bring to mind similar statements Cam and Herc have uttered in the past. Thoughts swirling with all those voices, I down half the contents of the fruity concoction. "Knowing that and acting on it are two different things."
"So work on it. Think of how frustrated you would be if someone needed help, but refused it.” She glances from me to her injured wrist and back again. “Let people be there for you. Let them show you how much they care. Let them help like you would help them—like youhavehelped them."
Her words shift the heaviness inside of me to something lighter and more bearable. Our parents instilled in us the importance and responsibility we all have to take care of others. It’s not that I don’t feel worthy of help, just that somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the fact that being able to accept help is just as important, especially when my friends are the ones offering. "You’re right."
A single dip of her head acknowledges my admission. Then she pins me with a pointed look. "And think about this: you know you would’ve done the same for Finlay had the situation been reversed."
I take another sip of juice to soothe my suddenly dry throat. "Again, you’re right."
Granted, I would have spoken with him about my intentions first, as I’d done with Sofia, but I would have done anything for him. Would still do anything, if I found out something was wrong and he needed help. No matter how awkward things would be, no matter how things ended between us, I’d be there. If he’d let me.
The ache in my chest swells. I miss him. So much.
On the table, my phone rings. Sofia picks it up and glances at the screen. "It’s Cam."
"Cam?" Taking the phone from my sister, I swipe across the screen to accept the call. Since I ended things with Finlay, Cam and I haven’t spoken much outside of rugby games and practices. "Hello?"
Cam’s voice streams through the speaker like he’s driving through a tunnel. "Hey, Teo. How’re you doing?"
"Um, all right." Hearing Cam’s voice cracks something in my middle and I wish everything was back to normal. I miss his easy friendship, the solid support, the laughter and hugs and over the top Cam-ness. "Everything good?"
"Can you come into the office? I need you to measure some walls."
"Measure walls?" I’m certain I’ve misheard him.
"Yeah." After another few seconds of static, the connection clears. "We’re thinking of dividing one of our labs into two separate spaces. I know your company occasionally does commercial projects and I’d rather give the work to someone I know I can trust."
Dragging my hand through my hair, I face the window. My blood is thumping, pounding in my temples, and the pit in my stomach is huge. "Cam… I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea."
Heavy silence hangs for several seconds before Cam says, "Please, Teo? I’m trying here. Being in the middle isn’t easy. I miss hanging out with you. I want the best for you and Fin, and also the best for this company."
I’m glad he thinks I’m the best and to hear that he trusts me and misses me, but am I ready to come face-to-face with Finlay on his turf, in front of my co-workers? I don’t know. And I don’t want to make any decision until I know if he’s okay with this either. "What about Finlay?"
"He isn’t here. As it’s the weekend, most of our staff isn’t here either. Only Aileene and I are in the building right now."
"No, I meant, what would he think about my being there doing the work if you hire my company?"
"Our offices aren’t on the same floor as the lab. You probably won’t run into each other."
The words help alleviate some of my anxiety. Plus, if Cam and I are able to maintain our friendship—and I’m hoping this offer is a sign that weare—then I’ll likely run into Finlay at some point anyway, whether I’m ready or not. Maybe this is a good way to prepare myself for the eventual experience. I take a deep breath to calm myself. "I can give you an estimate. Did you want to schedule something for next week? I know I have some openings Thursday and Friday afternoon."
"Actually, could you stop by today and just give me your thoughts? I’d like to have a preliminary estimate ready for our budget meeting on Monday, even if we have to schedule something more thorough for later in the week."
