Page 47 of Falling Faster
"You matter to me so much, it's scary." Burying my face in his neck, I draw his scent into my lungs. "I'm happy you're coming home with me tonight. We're staying at Slater and Noah's instead of my place. I want to go to sleep and wake up holding you." I raise my head and look into the eyes I've longed to see up close for weeks. "Not just want it. I need it."
His arms band around me, cradling me against his body. "I need it too."
CHAPTER TEN
CRAIG
Music,ourmusic, swirls around me, filling the air of Devon's basement. Nodding along to the beat Devon and Patrick established, I improvise a riff to accompany it and harmonize with Cody's soulful voice. The song we've been working on for the past two hours is finally coming together.
I woke up wrapped around Ty, with new lyrics on the brain, this morning. The book launch party last night, and the things we’d said to each other, about how we matter to each other, have been on my mind too. After Ty went to work, I called Devon, Patrick, and Cody, and we've spent the first full day of my visit to Buffalo in this basement.
Devon's basement is a far cry from the studios I've grown used to in LA, but it was the site of our practice sessions before the move to LA, and has been our place for jam sessions in the years we've been apart. New sound-proofing material lines the gray-painted walls, and new chairs flank the overstuffed couch behind Devon’s drum kit, but the framed concert posters lining one wall and the set-up of us four band members are exactly the same as always.
With Falling Midnight gaining an avalanche of social media followers since signing with Furious Records, thanks toBetter Days Aheadgoing viral, there's a tension circulating within me, a pins and needles, walking on eggshells tension, like I'm holding my breath and afraid to exhale.
We have a signed contract. We almost have enough material to get into the studio and record our first album under the new label. And we have the upcoming tour with Satyr's Kiss. All four of us feel the pressure.
The song comes to a close, then I play the riff again. "What do you think?"
Head tilted to the side, Patrick stifles a yawn and gestures for me to repeat the riff. I do, and he nods. "Yeah. That's the one."
His yawn sets off mine. Life has been a whirlwind since my time on tour with Luke and the guys. From signing the contract, recording the duet with Luke and the studio session ofBetter Days Aheadwith my band, then meetings with artists for songwriting projects, visits for the foundation, and songwriting for the new album, I'm exhausted. I need to lose myself in Ty, and I'll get to do that again tonight. Holding him last night was amazing, and I want more.
I've missed texting with him and talking with him as much as I used to before we signed with the label and life became a whirlwind. I don't want him slipping away, or feeling like he's not a priority for me. Because he is.
I'd hoped that my showing up to his book launch last night proved it, but one gesture isn't enough. Plus, I was a day late in arriving, thanks to work. Maybe if I'd been there when the flowers and candy delivery happened, Ty's awful roommate wouldn't have helped himself to the treats.
Seeing Ty via a screen and hearing him via a sound pieceisn't good enough. Neither is sporadic, in-person visits. I need a lot more of holding-him-close visits.
Much more than long weekends and stolen moments.
That thought has been turning over and over in my mind for weeks. My heartbeat stutters and I take a deep breath. "I'm thinking I might buy or rent a place here and be bi-coastal."
Three expressions of surprise and confusion mirror each other, and for a moment, no one speaks or moves, they only stare at me. My blurting that out with zero context might be why.
"You're moving here?" Devon bites his lip and then frowns at the drums. "Well, that changes things a bit."
"What do you mean?" I move closer.
He raises his gaze. "I've decided I'm moving back to LA. We have the contract and I know we're going there to record, but that's not enough. I let what happened with Anthony run me out of there, and I've regretted it for years. I want to go back. If I leave again, it'll be on my own terms. But I need to do this."
"Wow, Dev." Cody's voice is soft and his eyes glitter with sympathy.
Devon runs his hand over his face and then through his hair. "I talked to my regional manager. She said I could transfer to our flagship store in LA. I told her I'd need to cut back my hours to accommodate the tour, and she said it isn't a problem."
Cody sets the mic on the stand. "What about Celek? You two looked like you really hit it off last night."
"What about him?" Devon shrugs like the man doesn't matter, but wraps his arms around his middle, hugging himself. "We had a good conversation at the party, then we drifted apart during the chaos of people moving toward thefood when the cake was cut. I looked for him after that, but one of his teammates said Celek left to drive another teammate who had a migraine home. Apparently, the guy was puking in the alley behind the gallery. He's a good captain, looking out for his teammates. He probably stayed with the guy and got him settled."
Cody props his elbow on the mic and looks at our friend, who is currently doing a lousy job of hiding his feelings. "Sorry, Dev."
It was good seeing Devon open and clearly enjoying the company of Celek at the party. After Anthony, none of us were sure he’d ever get back out there. So, if there’s any way I can help him, I will. "I could ask Ty to give him your number."
He runs his finger along the curved edge of one of the cymbals. "I don't know. I mean, I'm going to LA, and he's here, and that would put us in the same situation you're in with Ty. I've seen how hard it's been on you, and I don't think I'm equipped for it."
"I understand, bud. It sucks, and I'm done with it. I need to be where he is, a lot more often than I have been." Tossing my guitar pick into the open case, I watch it land on the soft golden fabric. Everything I’ve ever wanted is within my reach. I just need to figure out how to put the pieces together. "What's that saying about falling in love making fools out of people?"
"Love? You're in love with him?" A smile beams across Devon's face, chasing away the gray clouds hanging over his expression. "Dude, that's awesome."
