Page 75 of Caged
You made the right decision,I reassure myself.
But that stupid voice in the back of my mind asks,Will you miss him?
And…I will.
I will miss the man I thought he could be.
I choke on my heartbreak, coughing into my hands as the weight of where I am drags me under. Because it didn’t have to be like this, but the Universe had a different plan for him, and for us.
The bus swings a wide turn into the Greyhound station. A line has already formed outside a bus idling in the parking lot. The exterior flap for the lower luggage compartment is open. People wheel their suitcases to the driver as he loads them intothe cavity, now halfway full. I make my way to the end of the line and take out my phone so I can pull up the digital copy of the ticket I purchased last night.
Fourteen missed calls from Kieren.Shit. He must know.I didn’t feel my phone ring, but even if I had, I wouldn’t have answered. Harrison must have complained that I was taking too long. I assumed this would happen eventually, but thank God, I’m already here, ten feet away from boarding the charter bus to Manhattan.
I watch in a daze as the line inches closer to the door with my ticket pulled up on my phone. Someone already on the bus is getting off. It registers, but it doesn’t. Because this can’t be happening. I’m seeing things.
His expression isn’t one of anger or exaltation. He looks at me with grave concern, like he’s been fraught with worry, searching for ages. Those in the line step aside as Kieren descends the charter bus steps. His clothes are different from last night. He looks human, albeit pale in the light of day.
Each stride toward me happens in slow motion. Sounds around me stop. His eyes don’t deviate from mine as he closes the final few inches between us and wraps his arms around me in an embrace that feels unexpectedly tender.
“You’re here,” he sighs with relief against the crown of my head. “I thought I was too late.”
I don’t understand the emotions I feel. I don’t understand why I, too, feel relieved. I feel so inexplicably relieved that he found me.
My body is flush with his, cocooned by his warmth, as he holds me tight.
And then I start to cry.
He cares.
He didn’t want to lose me.
But I need to stay strong, I remind myself.
The war between my brain and heart rages like two beasts in battle.
“How did you find me?” I manage.
“You share your location with me, don’t you remember?”
I… No, I don’t remember. I don’t recall ever sharing my location with him, but clearly, I must have done it at some point for him to find me so easily.
“Let’s go home,” he says, tilting my tear-streaked face up toward his. Kieren reaches for my hand, and I accept my fate, following him to his car.
I don’t object or put up a fight.
I don’t even try.
Because right now, the part of me who hates him can’t remember why, and the part of me who loves him feels like my lost prince has come to rescue me at last.
Walking back into Kieren’s bedroom, I sense a profound shift. At a glance, nothing has changed. My computer and the few things I keep here are as I’ve left them, but the air is different.
I am different.
I’m stepping back in time to a place where I no longer belong.
I sit down on the bed, lost in my emotional awakening.
I love him. Ihaveloved him.
