Page 46 of Caged
“Is this about Jace?” Viv abruptly pipes in from the back seat.
Ele’s gapes at me, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. “Oh my God,” Ele gasps, like she’s just solved the puzzle. “Thisisabout Jace, isn’t it? This is about Jace participating in something you disapprove of, and you want to out whatever Sigma is doing so you can drag Jace over the coals?”
“No!” I stammer. “I could care less about where Jace sticks his dick. Are you serious? Why aren’t you listening?”
“No, you listen, Gabi,” Ele says, turning stern as she points a finger at me. “If you want to keep running around, playing your little Sherlock Holmes shit, then be my guest. But I worked my ass off to get into this school, and I’m not going to fuck it up in my last year over some bullshit frat trying to have secret kink parties. Plus, if we get caught, you know those Sigma assholes will press charges, and if that happens, my career will be dead on arrival. I love you, Gabi, but I don’t want to be dragged into your circus of revenge. I’m sorry.”
“She’s right, Gabi. I’m sorry, but I can’t risk it either. My parents would literally disown me if I managed to get myself arrested and not graduate.”
“Guys,” I stutter. “You’re wrong. This is not about Jace.”
“Listen, for your own good, let it go,” Ele says. “Make no mistake, I’m not condoning whatever fucked up shit Sigma is doing, but this feels beneath you, Gabi. You’re better than this, and you’re better than Jace. This is not the hill to die on, trust me.”
They’re wrong. I know they’re wrong, but I know it’s pointless to contest. Hell, I’m even starting to doubt my own motives. Is my need to know the truth subconsciously about Jace?
I mutter, “You’re right,” and reach for the door handle.
The ruckus of drunk reverie grows louder the closer we get to our apartment. Swarms of people linger on the sidewalk outside Tommy O’s, likely making plans for after hours. The three of us walk solemnly in a single-file line, dodging and weaving around groups of passersby. I lag several feet behind my two friends, numb and dejected.
Only once before have I felt this isolated and disowned, and that was in high school. Is this how Monroe felt last semester when we were gone? Did Kieren force her to participate in weird, Sigma cult-y sex things against her will? When I saw Jace at the campus store, he made a comment about Monroe not being innocent. Was she in over her head, or a willing participant?
A sickening image of Monroe being forced to do sex acts under duress pops into my mind, followed by an even more disturbing image of Monroe’s body lying dead in a gutter. Monroe may be easily susceptible to Kieren’s spell, but she’s no weakling when it comes to standing up for what’s right, and that’s what scares me. There’s nothingwrongwith secret sex parties, even if they are considered taboo, so if Sigma is only guilty of throwing orgies, then why would Monroe have gone missing? It doesn’t add up.
I reach for a kernel of doubt, but my gut tells me I’m right, and if I have to walk this road alone to uncover the truth, so be it. I know Monroe wouldn’t have gone down without a fight, and neither will I.
20
KIEREN
Six Months Prior to Present Day,
Early March, Junior Year,
Sigma
My phone falls to the floor with a plunk. Where the fuck is Monroe? I’ve texted her ten times in the last hour.
This is not what she promised.
She promised to behave.
She promised not to run.
And what the fuck is she doing? Running.
Fucking disobedient fucking bitch.
How does she not understand all that I have riding on the success of these Full Moon Ceremonies? I need her full commitment. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
I should have just told her I loved her. I should have just said it back. It wouldn’t have been a complete lie. I do love her in my own way. I especially love the feeling of owning her. The way she yields control of her body, trusting me with her needs,is intoxicating. Having that much power over someone, bending her to my will, makes the darkest parts of me come alive.
And now she’s fucking disappeared, again, just like she did at the end of our sophomore year. She’s going to abandon me.
Not this time, Monroe. Not this fucking time.
The March Full Moon Ceremony with attending elders will be the first Ceremony held this century at the Dornell chapter. Last month’s Ceremony was just a dry-run, a means to recruit Sinners to tap for the Ritual of Sacrifice. Finally, the ancient tradition will return and reclaim its rightful spot in the legacy of this fraternity, just as X and my father want. Maybe then, they will finally shut the fuck up.
The hours I have spent organizing and preparing for this have been a sacrifice in and of itself. Not that I care about my classes. Convincing new pledges to trade scrubbing toilets for ghost writing my papers and completing my homework took no effort whatsoever. Besides, they’re all terrified of me, with good reason.
