Page 47 of Revere
“Do you want to look as if you’re attending a funeral, Patience?” Mom narrows her eyes. “A lady doesn’t wear black unless someone has died.”
She doesn’t break my gaze as she cuts through it, throwing it onto the pile.
When she said I could shop with my friends today, I thought maybe things were turning around. That I could be my own person for once. I should have known better than to entertain any flicker of hope.
The moment I walked through the door, Mom’s mood shifted. And now, she’s taking it out on me like she always does.
“What else are you hiding in here?” Mom throws open my closet doors, and I shoot to standing.
“Those are just my clothes.”
“Your clothes?” Mom laughs. “Nothing is yours, Patience. You’re fifteen. You don’t own one thing in this room, not even yourself. And with shirts like this”—she holds up a frilly pink top—“that will never change. What man wants someone who still dresses like a little girl?”
“I don’t want a man.” My heart starts to race.
Her comments about me impressing men have become more frequent lately, and I’m starting to get a bad feeling about it.
“What you want is irrelevant.” Mom destroys the pink top and throws it to the floor. “We all play our roles in this family. You’re getting older now. Stop crying and start acting like it.”
I hate that a tear rolls down my cheek at her words. That she’s using them against me.
Mom reaches into my closet and pulls something from the back. “What’s this awful mess?”
“Don’t, that’s from Grandma!” I step forward.
The navy-blue dress is the last gift she left me. She thought it might be fitting for a school dance someday and wanted me to have it for when the time was right. When she had a heart attack a few weeks later, the dress became something of hers tohold on to. She was one of the only women in the family who actually showed love, rather than using it as a bargaining chip.
“Your grandmother always had terrible taste.” Mom sneers, looking the dress up and down.
“Please don’t. She gave that to me.” I drop to my knees on the carpet, like that will be enough.
I know better.
Nothing is enough for my mother. She uses her regrets and pain like a weapon, making us all suffer alongside her for whatever in her life ruined all the good in her heart.
“We don’t always get what we want in life, Patience. How many times do I have to tell you that?” She swipes the blade down the center of the dress, ruining the last piece of my grandmother, tossing it to the side like it’s nothing.
Like I’m nothing. Maybe she’s right.
16
HE’S FINDING HIS WAY BACK
PATIENCE
In my desperation toavoid Jacob, I’ve somehow found myself in another overcrowded airport, accepting a family dinner invite from my mother. Proof I’ve officially lost all good sense.
Mom was smart, using my brother against me, knowing he is the one reason I’d return to Bristal before the end of my summer program. The hook was baited, and I fell for it. Mila might say Alex is fine, but how well does she actually know him?
He’s my brother. I won’t trust all is well until I see it with my own two eyes. Especially since he’s been back at Sigma House.
Growing up, I relied on him as my one safety net. In return, I was his tether to reality. The one person who saw something more than a legacy for the House or a killer. Being away for as long as I have, there’s been no one to remind him of the world that exists outside of my father’s demands or the House’s orders. It’s my responsibility to him to do that.
Which is why I find myself boarding a plane the second time this summer.
The line is slow-moving, and it’s not my parents’ private jet, but at least they booked me a spacious seat in the front. I’d consider it kindness if I didn’t know them any better. Mom isquietly trying to remind me of what they give me when I do as I’m told.
What she still fails to realize is that no amount of comfort is worth the price I’ll pay for it.
