“I can’t be here.” I shake my head, shoving my laptop back into my backpack.
Alex warned me Jacob was coming back to teach at Briar, but I assumed he’d be teaching higher-level courses. Not my class.
I told myself I would keep it together. That if I saw him, I’d look the other way and be fine. It was a lie. All this man has to do is look me in the eyes to break me, and that’s not happening.
“Class is starting.” Violet places a hand on my bag when I move to lift it.
“His class.”
Her lips purse. “So you’re going to avoid it all semester? Or switch? This is required for your major.”
My shoulders sink knowing she’s right. I can’t avoid him all semester, and I can’t put this class off for senior year. I have no choice but to sit here and suffer through a semester with Jacob.
My knees pulse with a phantom ache, and I rub them. A reminder that I’ve suffered worse and stayed strong. If I could bear that concrete, that cross, and my mother, I can do this now.
“Fine.” I cross my arms, looking anywhere but at the front of the room where I still feel him watching me.
Jacob starts class, and hearing his voice is even worse than looking at him. I remember how it sounded when we werein bed. The lies that rolled so easily off his tongue. I should probably pay attention, but I let his lecture become white noise as I stare out the window, watching students in the courtyard and trying to disconnect.
It works until the two girls to my right start whispering.
“I can’t believe that’s our professor.” The blonde bites her lower lip.
“Mindy went to his lecture a couple of years ago. She said he was hot.”
“There’s hot and then there’s whatever he is. I might need some tutoring. Do you think he has office hours?”
“God, I hope so.”
My stomach turns even if I don’t blame them. That was me not too long ago. Stars in my eyes, thinking that because he was beautiful, I could trust him. What a naive girl I was.
“Those hands,” one girl says as Jacob starts writing something on the board behind him.
“That ass.”
They both giggle, and I finally snap, “We get it.”
The room quiets, and I realize the girls beside me aren’t the only ones looking at me. The whole room has turned its attention around, even Jacob.
I grit my teeth and run my hands through my hair, grabbing my bag.
“This was a bad idea,” I say to Violet, standing to leave.
Murmurs move through the room, and I ignore them all. Including Jacob, who announces something to the class. All that matters is getting out of here as quickly as possible.
Pushing my way into the hallway, my chest aches like I can’t catch my breath. People push past, going in every direction, but I close my eyes and try to focus. I’m letting him get to me. This is the problem with men; they screw everything up.
The classroom door swings open and almost knocks me in the arm, so I step to the side. I didn’t realize class was almost over when I stormed out.
Way to keep it together, Patience.
Violet and Kole are two of the last people to leave. She steps like she’s going to walk over to me, but Kole glances behind them and pulls her along. Only when Jacob walks out of the room do I realize why.
This time, I don’t run.
Briar Academy is my school. I shouldn’t have to.
Jacob tucks his hands into his pockets, walking over to me in the busy hallway.